A Christian Perspective of Experiential Family Therapy

 In his book Man’s search for meaning (1985), Viktor Frankl states that more and more a psychiatrist is approached by patients who confront him with problems that would ideally be handled by a pastor, a rabbi or a priest. They want to know the meaning of life and yet most of them will not agree to be handed over to a clergy. Dr James Beck in his article, the integration of Psychology and Theology: An enterprise out of balance, suggests that “the mental health movement grows because of a relentless demand for its services. As culture disintegrates, individual lives and marriages are crumbling forcing people to seek help”. He rightful argues that the discipline of psychology desperately needs the salt and light that trained Christian practitioners can provide for it.

In this article the writer critiques the experiential theory with a focus on Virginia Satir, in relation to a Christian world view. This critique shall focus on four areas of importance:  cosmology (world view), anthropology (the nature and purpose of humans), harmatology (what is wrong with the world or psychopathology) and soteriology (how we experience healing or psychotherapy). It is submitted that experiential theory provides a strong foundation for therapists to understand their clients and enhance the therapeutic process from a theory and model that has strong ingredients and principles that can be molded to fit with Biblical principles. 

Cosmology:

 To Satir, the world is a “place of infinite splendor, evolution, and transformation” (Satir, V & Baldwin, 1983, P.160). Since humans are of this world they partake in these qualities. Contrasted to this view is the belief that we live in an absurd world where our choices must be significant to give us meaning. Satir presents two views of the world: the “threat and reward” model and the “seed” model. The two models contrast sharply in four areas: “the definition of a relationship, the definition of a person, the explanation of events, and people’s attitudes towards change”(Satir & Baldwin, P. 161).According to Satir, by identifying how people manage these four areas one can get the basic understanding of how people live their lives.

 In the “threat and reward” model human beings are viewed as inherently bad, “the fallen angels”, in other words man is born evil and needs to be controlled from birth in order to develop as a productive and responsible human being (Satir & Baldwin P. 165). The system presupposes a hierarchy in which some people define the rules of good conduct and others need to follow those rules. This hierarchy is based on roles held by individuals as well as rigid expectations of conformity. The consequences of this model include “political revolutions, religious wars and rebellions”; the worst of the consequences of the model according to Satir is that it creates individuals who do not know how to feel good about themselves.

Looked at from a Christian perspective, the “threat and reward” model perhaps exemplifies religiosity or a salvation by works. This would mean adherence to the law without grace. According to scripture we are born with a vulnerability to sin due to our separation from God the source of all righteousness. Paul explains this thus, “— through one man sin entered the world, and death through sin, and thus spread to all men, because all sinned” Romans 5:12NKJV. However this is not the end because God has created a solution to the human dilemma.  In the same way that judgment came to all humans due to the offense of one, “—even through one man’s righteous act the free gift came to all men, resulting in justification of life. For as by one man’s disobedience many were made sinners, so also by one man’s obedience many will be made righteous” Romans 5:18-19.

The law was introduced to deal with sin for “I would not have known of sin except through the law” Romans7:7. The problem is the more laws were made the more sin took advantage of people’s weakness “because the law is spiritual” and humans are “carnal sold under sin” Romans 7:14.  Therefore the “—the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has made me free from the law of sin and death. For what the law could not do in that it was weak through the flesh, God did by sending His own son in the likeness of sinful flesh, on account of sin” Romans 8:2-3. The righteous requirement of the law can therefore be fulfilled only in Christ because God condemned sin in the flesh, “that the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us who do not walk according to the flesh but according to the Spirit. —for to be carnally minded is death, but to be spiritually minded is life and peace” Romans 8:4, 6

The seed model in contrast “personhood determines identity” (Satir &Baldwin P.163). Every human being is born with a potential that may be fulfilled during that person’s existence on this planet. Roles and status only help define relationships within specific contexts. Every person is unique in this model. In addition to people’s similarities their differences make them unique and give them something to be proud of.  “An individual wholeness is based on an acceptance of the special way in which he differs from the rest of us” (Satir & Baldwin P. 163). The seed model exemplifies the kingdom of God in that we are all equal before God. Faith in Christ transcends our differences and makes all believers one in Christ. Paul writes “—you are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus. —there is neither Jew nor Greek, neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus” Galatians 3:26, 28.

This model can also be contrasted to the body of Christ which is the church. We are all different with different gifts and callings but we are also similar because we are all humans created in the image of God. Paul writing about the unity of the body and our differences says “—there is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called in one hope of your calling; one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is above all, and through all and in you all. But to each one of us grace was given according to the measure of Christ’s gift—And He himself gave some to be apostles, some prophets, some evangelists, and some pastors and teachers, for the equipping of the saints for the work of ministry, for edifying of the body of Christ till we all come to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the son of God, to a perfect man, to the stature of the fullness of Christ” Ephesians 4:4-7,11-13.

What this scripture reveals is that our oneness does not destroy our individuality. We all have special gifts for building up the church. We are all accountable individually and as a body to God for our part in evangelizing the gospel to the nations of the world. When we identify our gifting and start using them then we will feel whole and fulfilled as we will be answering our calling and fulfilling our purpose for living.  Rather than basing an individual’s wholeness on one’s acceptance of the special way in which they differ with others, the Biblical world view suggests that one’s wholeness starts with finding a relationship with Christ and being joined to the unity of the body through the Holy Spirit.

Anthropology:

Some of the concepts of experiential therapy were derived from existential writings of Martin Heidegger (1963), Jean-Paul Sartre (1964), Paul Tulich (1952), Martin Buber (1958) and perhaps, Victor Frankl (1959). Heidegger was of the view that one becomes aware of one’s existence by recognizing that one could not exist while Sartre of the view that individuality is discovered only through personal meaning. Tullich suggested that when one does not find personal meaning, one’s individuality is threatened and as a result one experiences fear of nothingness. Buber on the other hand emphasized on individuality pressing for the “I, Thou” relationship in which both parties can be together yet maintain their individuality. According o him, “Man with man-the unity of I and Thou- is God”.  Frankl, suggested that there is a fundamental drive to have a meaning or meanings to live by, that which he would call “the will to meaning”. (frankl, 1985)

 Experiential theory acknowledges that people have minds and souls. According to Satir, humans are creatures of wonder in their physical aspects with minds and souls. A mentally healthy person strives for a balance between physical, mental, emotional and spiritual development and has a positive self image. Such a person is able to practice what Satir calls the five freedoms. These freedoms are; a) freedom to see what is here instead of what should be, was or will be, b) freedom to say what one feels and thinks instead of what one should, c) freedom to feel what one feels instead of what one ought to, d) freedom to ask for what one wants instead of always waiting for permission, e) freedom to take risks in one’s own behalf instead of choosing to be only secure and not rocking the boat” (Satir & Baldwin P. 168-169).

Satir sees a person as consisting of eight separate elements or levels which interact with one another and exert a constant influence on the well being of the person. These are “Physical (the body); intellectual (the left brain, thoughts facts);emotional (the right brain, feelings, intuition); sensual ( the ears-sound, the eyes-sight, the nose-smell, the mouth-taste and the skin-tactile sensation on touch –movement); interaction (the I-Thou communication between the oneself and others and self and self); nutritional (the solids and fluids ingested); contextual (colors, sound, light, air and time) and the spiritual ( one’s relationship to the meaning of life, the soul, spirit , life force)” (Satir & Baldwin, P. 176). All these parts add up to the self “although the self is more than the sum total of the parts”. Of interest is her contention that each of us is a system and the parts function like any system, just like a family system functions.

This view agrees with the Biblical view of seeing humans as part of a system because we are communal beings joined together for a purpose. Just like we need all the members of our bodies to function properly for us to be whole, we need all the members of our communities starting with the family to function properly if we are to be complete and whole. Paul makes it clear when he writes “for as the body is one and has many members, but all the members of that one body being many, are one body so also is Christ. For by one Spirit we were all baptized into one body- whether slaves or free- and have all been made to drink into one Sprit. For in fact the body is not one member but many” 1 Corinthians 12: 12-14. Every part of the body is important even that that appears the weakest for “God composed the body, having given greater honor to that part which lacks it, that there should be no schism in the body, but rather that the members should have the same care for one another. An if one member suffers, all the members suffer with it; or if one is honored, all the members rejoice with it” 1 Corinthians 12: 24-26

The theory further acknowledges that when people forget their spiritual dimensions they feel lost because they have no connection with the “life force or universal mind”. Satir says,

“As I have been evolving I have had experiences which tell me that there exists something which could be called the life force or universal mind. I know that there are many dimensions in this force that are powerful shapers in human behaviour. It seems a little to me like the presence of electricity. It was always there yet it waited for someone to identify it for beneficial purposes” (Satir & Baldwin, P. 160).

 The language is humanistic by nature but seems to acknowledge facts that the Bible has taught since the foundation of time. This “life force or universal mind” can be attributed to God whose presence is everywhere to the searching eyes. Apostle Paul speaking to the Greeks in Athens on his evangelical missions says, “God who made the world and everything in it, —He has made from one blood every nation of men to dwell on all the face of the earth and has determined their appointed time and the boundaries of the dwelling so that they should seek the Lord, in the hope that they might grope for Him and find Him, though He is not far from each of us; for in Him we live and move and have our being” Acts 17:24, 26-28.  In other words we all sense the existence of God, albeit to some subconsciously.

Genesis chapter 2 narrates the creation story and portrays Adam’s closeness to God before the fall and banishment from the Garden of Eden.  After the fall, this fellowship with God is lost and a void is created in the human soul due to the separation. It is after this separation that sin is witnessed in the form of jealous and subsequent murder in the case of Cain and Abel as reported in Genesis 4:8. This separation perhaps explains the restlessness yearning in all humans for God“— has put eternity in their hearts, except that no one can find out the work that God does from the beginning to the end” Ecclesiastes 3:11. This would imply that; a) Man can never be fully satisfied with earthly pleasures and pursuits, because we are created in the image of God, hence the thirst for the spiritual. b) We have eternal value and nothing but the eternal God can truly satisfy us.

  The “seed” model sees humans as “potentially good. This is not to say that people are born innocent or good, but that there is a wisdom to the body and that given the proper conditions of nurture, children like seedlings are likely to develop into healthy adults”( Satir& Baldwin P. 165). The Bible teaches that we are all born into sin, as a result of the fall of our forefather, Adam. We do however have redemptive hope through Jesus Christ who calls on all mankind to repent and be “born again of the Spirit” in order to enter the Kingdom of God, John 3:5. The idea of humans being “potentially good” is therefore not far fetched but the difference is in how they get to the point of good. Our goodness can only be manifested in Christ who has entrusted us with the Holy Spirit to help us in our weaknesses.  Christ main message was on the kingdom of God for He called on us to “repent for the kingdom of God is hand” Mathew 4:17. Asked when the kingdom of God would come he said, “The kingdom of God does not come with observation; —For indeed the kingdom of God is within you” Luke 17:20, 21.

On the issue of nurturing it seems that the theory agrees with the teaching of scripture which says “train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it” Proverbs 22:6. How a child is brought up will in most cases determine how he ends up as an adult. When we become Christians we are spiritually babies and we need to be nurtured by our family in the body of Christ in order to grow. All of us have been entrusted different gifts “for the equipping of the saints, for the work of the ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ, —that we should no longer be children, tossed to and fro and carried about with every wind of doctrine — but speaking the truth in love, may grow up in all things into Him who is the head-Christ- from whom the whole body, joined and knit together by what every joint supplies” Ephesians 4:12,14-16. In other words we are responsible to one another as a family is responsible of its own for growth.

Of importance to this model is the issue of self worth or self esteem. Self worth is “the value that a person attaches to himself, the love and respect he has for himself independent of the way other see him” (Satir & Baldwin P.194). The way a family handles its communication reflects the self-worth of family members. The critical factor in what happens inside a person and between people is the picture of individual worth that each person carries around them. To Satir, a person with low self –worth is concerned with emotional survival, so their main fear when communicating with other people is the fear of revealing themselves. She emphasized the role of destructive communication in smothering feelings. She saw four ways in which people communicate, namely, blaming, placating, being irrelevant and being super reasonable.  According to her, behind these patterns of communication is low self esteem. All behaviour is communication since it involves the sending and receiving of information. Messages must therefore be sent and received clearly within family members if individuals are to survive and thrive.

Biblical self esteem on the other hand entails seeing ourselves as God sees us and accepting ourselves as God accepts us. This position is based on our acknowledging that God is responsible for every positive attribute we possess.  The Psalmist writes that “Know that the Lord, He is God; It is He who has made us and not we ourselves” Psalm 100:3. In discussing self esteem from a Christian perspective one must consider what scripture says regarding the ingredients that make up self esteem. These will include (a) appearance, (b) competence (c) intelligence, (d) Personality, (e) Success (f) Unconditional self Worth, (g) Self Forgiveness, (h) Acceptance of Weakness, (I) Self Love, and (j) Freedom from Guilt. Guilt affects a lot of people because the enemy has a way of reminding people of their past as a weapon of torment and doubt. One must always remember that in Christ we are sanctified (John17:19) justified by His blood, reconciled to God, are righteous, (Romans 5:9, 10, 19), there is no condemnation, Romans 8:1, we are blameless and above reproach in His sight, Colossians 1:22, and the elect of God holy and beloved, Colossian 3:12.

Hamartology(psychopathology):

Satir understood negative behaviors as positive attempts to meet universal human needs for love and connection; validating the integrity, however destructive of each human being’s search for a sense of self worth and reliable interpersonal connections; and discovering and changing the impact of formative relationships on present problems and interactions. She argues that the separation of mind and soul has led the person from the Western world to equate their identity with their mind and not with their whole being. As a consequence most individuals feel “isolated inside their bodies” (Satir & Baldwin, P 167). This inner fragmentation mirrors the outside world, which is seen as a multitude of separate parts existing for the benefit of separate interest groups. The result of this is alienation from nature and other human beings. 

In the “threat and reward” model, the definition of a person is based on set norms of behaviors. Differences in all its forms could sabotage the existing order. This makes a person to feel compelled to act in certain ways. The cost for not conforming is guilt, fear and rejection. For some individuals unbearable hopelessness may ensue. One could compare this with a person living separate from God or one trying to gain salvation by works. The more they try to conform to the system or follow the rules the more they fail and the more miserable they become.  This is because salvation is attained by grace through faith. Paul writes “by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast” Ephesians 2:8-9. Of all the creation, only human beings are made in the image of God and the only created being that God “breathed” into to become “a living being” Genesis 2:7 hence the importance of the spiritual nature. 

Experiential therapy puts emphasis on freedom of choice which must be significant to give meaning to the individual. Existential anxiety occurs when our choices lack meaning to ourselves and to other family members. The salient assumptions in Satir’s approach begin with the notion that people have an innate potential to grow and self-actualize. This is followed by the view that the growth potential is either nurtured or blocked by the impact of the family system. She believed that a family or individual comes into therapy because of a problem that causes them frustration, despair, and pain and with which they are unable to cope by themselves. She sees problems as inevitable to every living being therefore a symptom only manifests failure to cope with the problem as opposed to the symptom being the issue.

The emphasis on Satir model is on the freedom of choice and finding meaning in our choices as the ultimate test to wholeness. How then do we reconcile this philosophy with Christian teaching? King Solomon considered the wisest man ever to live (1Kings 3:12), tried to find meaning through the great wisdom bestowed on him by making personal choices that were detrimental to his relationship with God. He writes “I set my heart to seek and search out by wisdom concerning all that is done under heaven; this burdensome task God has given to the son’s of man by which they may be exercised. I have seen all the works that are done under the sun; and indeed all is vanity and grasping of the wind” Ecclesiastes 1:13-14. Solomon in effect discovered that neither his accomplishments nor his wisdom could make him truly happy. Values established outside of God can only highlight our problems because such values ignore God’s eternal perspective and solution. His conclusion for the meaning of life is to “fear God and keep His commandments, for this is man’s all. For God will bring every work into judgment including every secret thing whether good or bad” Ecclesiastes 12:13-14. 

Soteriology (psychotherapy):

Experiential therapy does not have a well defined technique. The proponents argue that techniques evolve from relationships. The person of the therapist is incorporated in the technique. Personal encounter between the therapist and the family allows the therapist to become an important member of the family.  Satir preferred to teach therapist to become aware of their own responses and to use them to produce change in the family instead of relying on techniques. She believed that the therapist is a teacher and a model of good communication to the family. If the therapist is open and spontaneous family members learn to behave in the same way. The therapist teaches family members how to observe discrepancies between “intent” and the “Impact” of their message. The therapist must be genuine, open and trusting for the family members to be the same with each other. The extent to which therapy has a here-and-now experiential quality will determine its effectiveness in facilitating change (Satir et al., 1991).

Therapy emphasizes the present moment or the here and now rather than the past.  It is not concerned with altering dysfunctional interactions or removing symptoms but on personal growth. The belief is that once there is growth the symptoms will disappear or cease to matter. Satir believed that the connection between self- esteem and communication was central to quality life. The hallmark of therapy is individuality, personal freedom and self fulfillment. According to Satir, “all human beings strive toward holism or completion of themselves although blockage can occur. The therapist’s task is to help clients remove the blocks and barriers to this achievement” (Satir & Baldwin P. 168). This is based on the belief that all human beings can increase their potential to nourish themselves if they learn to access their physical, intellectual, emotional, sensual, interaction contextual, nutritional and spiritual resources. Family members are encouraged to express uniqueness and make independent choices. Further individual family members are encouraged to experience a deeper meaning when communicating with other family members.    

One must ask whether being more sensitive and having the ability to share feelings effectively can be interpreted as a way to wellness or growth. Granted a person who is more sensitive is for most purposes more “humane” than a person who lacks sensitivity.  Wellness and growth, it is submitted, must however be based on the foundation of scripture for a Christian because this is where we find our legitimacy both for self and community. It is imperative to incorporate the provision for spiritual life through Christ and progressive maturity as one yields to the Spirit of God. Indeed Jesus said “unless one is born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God. —unless one is born of water and the spirit he cannot enter the kingdom of God” John 3:3, 5. For one to be born again there is need for repentance. Repentance means changing your mind about your life and agreeing with God that you have missed the mark and in the process inviting Him to show you the way.  All of us are called to repent “and be converted that your sins may be blotted out so that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord” Acts 3:19.

Growth then from a Christian perspective starts with entering the kingdom of God by “being born again”.  Since the kingdom of God is “within us”, this would entail acknowledging that ones life is under the domain of the kingdom of God as opposed to the systems and culture of this world. We relate to this kingdom in a spiritual way “for God is Spirit and those who worship Him must worship Him in spirit and truth” John 4:24.  This is what is attributed to spiritual birth. The new person is in effect re-created and is in union with God through Christ Jesus.  Paul writes, “if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold all things have become new. Now all things are of God, who has reconciled us to Himself through Jesus Christ” 2 Corinthians 5:17-18. We grow by working out our salvation “with fear and trembling” as God works in us “both to will and to do for His good pleasure” 2:12-13. In other words, we need God who works in us through the Holy Spirit in order to grow or change.

Another important aspect of experiential therapy is the allusion of self actualization or self fulfillment. This is a term borrowed from the humanistic philosophy of Abraham Maslow. Self-actualization implies the attainment of the basic needs of physiological, safety/security, love/belongingness, and self-esteem. If we think of life as a series of choices, then self actualization is the process of making each decision a choice for growth. This philosophy operates on the premise that man is naturally good and he is operating in his natural capacity by being self actualized. Self actualization by description contradicts scriptures which teaches that humans are made in the image of God but are fallen beings “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” Roman 2:23.

Victor Frankl, also a humanist and existential philosopher, challenges this phenomena saying that, “What is called self-actualization is not an attainable aim at all, for the simple reason that the more one would strive for it; the more he would miss it. In other words, self-actualization is only possible as a side-effect of self transcendence” (Frankl, 1985). Self transcendence for a Christian can only be achieved through divine means. It entails denying of self and taking up one’s cross daily to follow Jesus, Luke 9:23, 24. This can only happen when our thinking is renewed.  Apostle Paul implores on believers to be “transformed by renewing of your mind, that you may prove that which is good and acceptable perfect will of God” Romans 12:2. The evidence of such transformation is manifest by the fruit of the Spirit which is “love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self control” Galatians 5:22-23.

On the therapist role, Satir model would agree with the Christian faith on the importance of one’s calling. For those who are in Christ, their vocation is their ministry in which they manifest the love of Christ to others. Christians are called to model the attributes of wholeness, not that they are perfected, to those who come to for help. Christ followers have the ministry of “reconciliation, that is, that God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself, — and has committed to us the word of reconciliation. —we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God were pleading through us” 2 Corinthians 5:18- 20. If a therapist learns to use the spiritual gifts entrusted on them therapy can be very successful. “—but the greatest of these is love” 1 Corinthians13:13

Conclusion:

The implication for this model is that there are elements of its world view which can be integrated with Christianity to be an effective tool of psychotherapy. The model ascribes to the humanistic philosophy in that it dwells on individual liberty and choice. Matters of the spirit are also humanistic without absolutes and the focus is on the here and now ignoring the eternal aspect. The goal is on individual growth in the areas of communication and sensitivity with the aim of making a person to be in harmony with self and nature as opposed to the living God.  These differences can however be corrected by adopting Christian world view in such instances to make it a complete and rich model for therapy. The Christian faith is experiential by nature for everyone must experience for themselves the new birth and work out their own salvation just like this model teaches. 

Reference

Frankl, Victor E. Man’s search for meaning 1985, First Washington press

Heaney, John J., 1984, Psyche and Spirit, Paulist Press

Jones, Stanton L. & Butman, Richard E. Modern Psychotherapies1991, Intervarsity Press

Nichols, Michael P. & Schwartz, Richard C., 2006, Family Therapy concepts and Methods, Pearson Eduction, Inc.

Satir, Virginia & Baldwin, Michele, 1983 Satir Step by Step, Science and Behaviour books, Inc.

Life Application Bible Study Bible, New King James Version, Tyndale House Publishers, INC