A Letter to my Sons

I’d really like to have some “face time” to discuss this with you guys, but this will have to do for now. I

As a reformed segregationist, I want to say where I stand today on prejudice, etc. and why I think it’s a good, Christian and moral stance.

One of my best friends as a 10 year old was Sam. Sam was black and lived next door in one room attached to the neighbors garage. He worked for the neighbor as a general handy man, and he was handy with stuff. Sam had never been to school and yet he was extremely wise — at least to me. Sam and I would visit across the back fence or in the alley or just sitting on the grass. I helped him some but mostly just admired and loved him. He returned that affection. Sam had another ability that I admired. He could spit. He chewed tobacco and he could lean on the picket fence and knock a grasshopper off the fence at three feet. That was impressive to this 10 year old.

In a segregated high school, I played some basketball. There were seven of us who were not on the high school team in our sophomore year for a variety of reasons. One New York all-stater, four really talented and the last two who helped — and I was a helper. We played 5 nights each week in several different city and church leagues. First in one league and second in a couple of others. The point here is that after our games were over, we would go to a black high school gym and watch those guys play ball because we knew they were better than we were. We talked to them and I know that we all enjoyed our visits. We were the only white people in the gym and they all knew why we came — respect for their ability. It was as normal as it could be under the circumstances.

Later, I found some groups of blacks (colored, at the time) were really offensive and uncontrollable. For a bit, I sided with the segregationists in believing the best solution was “apartheid”. Then I discovered that being a mainstream segregationist was only an excuse to abuse people, black people in particular. It seems that the folks wanting separateness also wanted the destruction of all who disagreed with their plan, black or white. Meanness was the main characteristic of these people who advocated segregation. Uncaring, angry and vindictive. I left that ideology.

As a student in the USAF electronics school in Biloxi MS, I was put in a WWII barracks along with 79 other young guys who came from all over the USA. After a bit of unpacking, it became apparent that we had a problem in our barracks. We had one black guy and no one would bunk with him. We had the typical military double bunks, one stacked on top of the other. Obviously, the bottom bunk was the premium bunk.

Phillip, the black guy, was mild mannered, smart, tough and optimistic. His father was an electrical engineer in Philadelphia. Easy to like and easy to laugh with.

For some reason I had become one of the barracks leaders and I was aware of my status. Trouble was rising so I went to Phillip and offered him my lower bunk spot meaning that I would take the less desirable upper bunk. Phillip accepted the offer on the condition that he get the top bunk and we moved his stuff to my bunk space. A few guys sneered at me but they didn’t have the balls to challenge me or go to the barracks sergeant. Some nasty notes and shouts about “nigger lover” etc, went unanswered by me. So I became the only guy in our 80 man barracks that would bunk with Phillip. However, I should note that I was not alone in supporting Phillip, I was just the only one who did anything. So, the guys who hated me knew that a physical attack would bring out the reinforcements, not just me alone. Therefore I was not the “white knight” who was risking his safety.

Phillip never made a big deal about our friendship – he never taunted anyone or tried to make an issue about his mistreatment. We would go to town together, although he rarely went to town because he didn’t feel safe there. With 40,000 airmen on the base, Biloxi didn’t like any of us, much less the blacks. The dislike of us by the folks of Biloxi got so bad that on one payday the Air Force paid most of the base in $2 bills so that the local merchants would see where their income was coming from. Obviously we were paid in cash.

Helping Sister Margaret in Shreveport with her breakfast feeding program for poor black kids out of the bottoms was a great joy that has been noted elsewhere.

The small examples above are here to make the case that I don’t harbor any dislike for other people because of their skin color. I sampled segregation as a moral idea and as a legal idea and found them both to be ideas that just masked the real problem — hatred. These segregationists were going to hate somebody whether they were black, yellow, brown, white, purple or orange.

Finally, to the point. I’ve arrived here after mistakes, missteps, misjudgments and misplaced allegiance. There are some people that I don’t want to be around and I don’t want to live like they live. These groups include some, repeat, SOME Cajuns, elitists, rich, intellectuals, white, black, brown, Texans, Latinos, Germans, English, French, Chinese, Japanese, Iraqis, Iranians, Syrians, Nigerians, South Africans, family and on and on. Christ’s command to love other people as you love yourself is not an option — it’s a command. Moreover, love is an act of will. Love of this high caliber is not spontaneous; it is willed in spite of the character and unloveabiltiy of a person or group. Therefore I love these people and I will associate with them but I will not live their kind of life. That disassociation is Christian also — He said chose carefully whom you befriend.

If you’ve gotten this far, then take note — we don’t have to like everyone we love. But we must love, repeat, we must love. Prejudice, bias, bigotry, hatred, meanness,etc. are the surface results of not loving other people. We can love them and not live like them. Love those in prison but don’t do what they do. And all this effort at loving is contrary to the innate nature of us all which is terribly selfish. As love is practiced over time, the innate badness is diminished more and more and we become closer and closer to the caring, giving, loving creatures that we are intended to be.

If not Christ, then what? As one author noted about ignoring Christ, “just do the best thing you know”. Isn’t that pitiful? As I see it, doing “the best thing you know” leaves you at the mercy of current thinking or current fads or a new religion or a new idea but nothing permanent. I believe that the best solution for prejudice etc, is a day by day association with Jesus Christ and his teachings. The transformation is slow and sometimes doesn’t work at all. Still, in the long run, His commands and admonitions will overcome the meanest spirit. Since we have free will, we can ignore His teachings — and most do just that — at a price of living miserably.

There is a preacher in Georgia named Billy Moore who is a murderer. He preaches each week and has a thriving, small congregation. His conviction on a count of murder is not in dispute — even by Billy himself because he confessed the crime without pressure. He spent years on death row waiting for his execution. During this time he became a Christian and began working on others near him in the cells. He became known as “the peacemaker” because the cells on his block were the most orderly and calmest. After much time and testing, there arose a large swell of emotion to free Billy Moore led by the victim’s family. Unbelievably and without a good legal reason, he was granted freedom and he began to preach. No doubt he was guilty of murder. He freely confessed the crime. The sentence was according to the law. He had a good defense. Yet his work among prisoners (and some others) was so effective that a way was found to release him. The vile and mean can be made clean. Thank you Billy Moore. He loves. His work continues. http://www.nodeathpenalty.org/newab032/14_BillyMoore.html

Well, I hope there is some meaning here that will be useful to you as you grow in your life’s journey. I’m convinced that each time we consider these moral values like love vs hate, we have the chance to grow a bit towards a more loving world in spite of the massive amounts of meanness that is around. Many, many before me have found the value in persisting with the effort of learning to love and the value of making love the trump card of life.

I love you,

Dad