Born Again

           That was 31st of July when I talked to my mother – Evelyn Caldo. It was a solemn conversation. Indeed, it was a confession of who am I. She understands every feel of mine. She accepted the situation, knowing that no one really wants these cruel things to happen. I opened an identity and a feeling that I longed wish to be forgotten. I even said the feeling of heartbroken. I was not able to sleep well, but I know it was a feel of relief.

The day after, my mother told my father of my condition. I received text messages from my father and my brother abroad. It was another phase of acceptance.  I thought everything ends there. But, God is so great.

It was that same day – August 01, 2009, when I visited my doctor for gastrointestinal tract and heart problem check-up. Dr. Villadelgado said that there is no problem with my stool anymore; I only need to finish taking antibacterial medicine. On the other hand, the result of 2D Echo with Doppler – an ultrasound of the heart, was discussed. She elaborated that a valve in my heart thickens. This causes irregularity in my heart beat. She advised me to protect myself from tonsillitis. This would bring bacteria to my valve, which would cause heart attack. If frequent chest pain is experienced, I need to go back for further examinations (i.e. halter – a 24-hour ecg of the heart). It was another blessing, but this was not the highlight.

It was after the check-up when I saw a long lost friend in the hospital. His name is John Erick Carvajal. Would you believe that I once fell for him, but he accepted me for what I am? We don’t have any intimate relationships before, but his understanding is enough for me to move on. I intend to greet him, but I was shy. So, I send him a text message instead. He gladly replied with care. Late at night, I opened my problem to him for his advice.

Erick advised me to divert my feelings through writings, knowing that I am a poet. He wants me to focus more on my work, rather than thinking things that kills my confidence. He wants me to try ignoring things that had happed, as if nothing ensues. Most importantly, he guided me not to resign. Indeed, he was a blessing in disguise.

The day after, I received a text message from a constituent. His name is Rhandell Malicsi, he invited me to attend Victorious Cross Christian Fellowship’s 18th anniversary. It was a celebration of their church’s success for 18 years.

            “You have not chosen me, I have chosen you.” That was the remarkable theme of the event.

            There was no expectation at all; it was only because I wish to pay off what was given to me. But, everything turns out to change my life.

Everyone is so approachable. They were all kind and you’ll feel cared. Even the so called artists, they used to greet me and shake my hands. It was a common connotation for them to call one another – “Kuya” (Brother). It is there way of respect.

At first, it feels awkward to sing and dance with them. But, in the middle of the session, would you imagine that I was singing and dancing with them. I even participated in each activity spearheaded by Pastor Toto and Pastor Jojo.

I thought it was just an entertainment and it ends there, but there were series of testimonies that inspired me a lot. But, for me, the most memorable part of the event is when Pastor Jojo asked everybody to come in front and accept Jesus.

I refused…. And, suddenly I go in front of everybody and I was blessed. Tears suddenly fell from my eyes. I felt the presence of the Lord Jesus Christ. Yes, that was right! It was never an accident. I was brought by an angel to this event.

God is so great that truly he provides. He chose me! He makes me feel his presence! He gives me love!  He will always be with me!

He sends me not just one angel, but there were three angels sent in three consecutive days of my agony. Wonderful! Beautiful! Glorious! Matchless in every way! That is our God – Lord Jesus Christ.