We live in a world where there is trouble on every side, in fact a man that is born of a women is a few days and full of trouble. Jesus said in the world you shall have tribulation, but be of good cheer for I have overcome the world. A husband and wife with two sons had abused their children starting from the age of three. For twenty years they had to tolerate the verbal and physical abuse, and while one of the sons became a successful lawyer…the other son went through constant run ends with the police, and ended up with a nine to fifteen year prison sentence. This story is simply made up… but unfortunately it is true in many respects because thousands of homes go through this very example and end up with one of the children going on and being successful while the other child becomes stuck in the past and ends up physically and mentally in prison. One could not put closure to the abuse from their past while the other one did. Closure is like a person at a funeral of a loved one, and even though there is pain…they are able to endure the painful service and finally watch the preacher pronounce ashes to ashes and dust to dust over the casket, and it is at this point…closure begins to happen. Time does not necessarily mean emotional healing because there are people who are still grieving 20 years after a tragic event, but time invested wisely in how to think and bring healing… is another matter! For example , Philippians chapter four and verse eight tells us how to “think” we read…finally brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise; think on these things. How we think about life’s issues can either help us to heal, or to keep us stuck in a cycle of pain. For example, have you ever been alone and started reminiscing about past experiences? the sad thoughts no doubt effected you and you may have begun to cry; here you are emotionally being effected by something that happened in the past and the action that brought on the emotional display were thoughts, and not just the thoughts themselves…but how the thoughts were administered. Just because something is true does not mean it is profitable and that it deserves your undivided attention. You can control what you think by replacing it with another thought; you cannot think two thoughts at the same time, one must replace the other. You can choose to think about pleasant things and enjoy your day, or you can think about sad things and throw a pity party…the choice is yours! the dictionary meaning for closure means for something to end, or be finished, and people remain stuck with the pain from a bad relationship, a bad experience, the loss of a love one, etc because the way they think never ends.
forgiveness and closure are related:
people tend to remain stuck in the pain cycle when they refuse to forgive others. Jesus said in Mark 11:26…and when you stand praying, forgive that your heavenly Father will forgive you your trespasses, but if you forgive not, neither will your heavenly Father forgive you your trespasses. Forgiveness is not a feeling , but a decision, and once you decide to do it God’s way, he is obligated to step in and help with the emotional aspect of healing. When a person has truly forgiven…they release the guilty party and there is a freedom and rest because they are no longer holding the person accountable for what the person did or did not do. This rest is an undescribable peace that only Jesus can give. He says to come unto me all ye that labour, and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest (Matthew 11:28). Rest is the evidence that closure has taken place because you rest about what is finished. When a work day is finished, you rest from work, when house cleaning is finished…you rest from house work, when exercise class is finished…you rest from exercise class; when the divorce is finished (in your mind)…you rest from the emotional pain of the divorce, when the unemployment issue is finished…you rest from the effects of unemployment, etc. May I also add, you may still be going through your storm at this very moment, but you can rest just as Jesus did when he fell asleep in the hinderpart of the ship while the storm was all around him. Go to sleep, rest! because he (Jesus) is awake in your storm and because the eyes of the Lord are in every place beholding the good and evil…he is helping to bring closure to your life’s issue.
When God created the heavens and the earth in the book of Genesis…he rested on the seventh day. This rest was not a physical rest, but was a rest signifying his work was finished. One of the thoughts that accompany a troubled mind is… “just be over” and all of one’s actions may be geared toward finishing things themselves. One may be able to physically finish issues, but that is no guarantee that the issues will be finished in one’s mind. God could have finished creating the heavens and the earth in one day, but instead he lays out a plan to follow where goals are reached on a daily basis. Notice that the evening and the morning was the first day, and the evening and the morning was the second day,etc. Evenings (weeping season) and mornings (joy)( Psalm 30:5) will accompany our days, but when no one else is around to encourage us…like God, we must see and tell ourselves it’s a good day! because Romans 8:28 says for we know that all things (good and bad) work together for good to them that love the Lord and to them who are the called according to his purpose. Knowing this and meditating on God’s word concerning this, helps bring closure to the issue.