Published by Brought up as a Christian, god was a very important part of my life, especially on a Sunday morning, and not necessarily through choice either. Every Sunday morning as a child, I was expected to attend church on a weekly basis without fail. Coming from a very religious family, this was a must, and was definitely not debatable. However, the time finally came when I was left to my own devices, and it was my choice whether to attend or not.
For a while I enjoyed the freedom of doing other things on a Sunday morning… preferably sleeping, and enjoying an extremely long lie in. My theory was that I didn’t need to attend church in order to prove my faith in god, I could just believe from a distance. However looking back, this was just an excuse, the fact of the matter was that I wasn’t embracing god into my life, I was simply just not attending church, or giving god a second thought. I was thoroughly enjoying my freedom, however I think this was also a chance for me to rebel for all those years of being made to go. This went on for a while until I started to feel empty, like something was missing. I guess growing up and being a very active part of the church, had more of a subconscious effect on me than I thought.
The dilemma I soon found myself faced with, was do I go back to church, or do I continue to do the other things I enjoyed. The decision however was quite a simple one in the end; I had to go back as an adult to determine what my own thoughts, feelings and attitudes were. Did I believe in god, or were my feelings ones that were a product of nurture?
Everyone at church was the same as I remembered, just a little older. To them however, I was now a man. Everyone welcomed me back, no judgement, and no questions as to where I’d been. I just blended right in; back into the seat I used to sit in as a child attending church every Sunday. The Sermon approached and I remember the words spoken were so relevant, so close to my heart, and so true. Although the sermon was not about me, I could totally relate to it. I compared what was being said with certain aspects of my life. Being there made me realise that although I hadn’t been for so long, I had not lost the faith I thought I had, and going to church for all those years had helped shape my life to date without me even realising.
So how important is god in my life? Well my faith in god has given me answers every time I need them, it gives me hope, shows me light at the end of the tunnel. Without faith what do we have? I’ve seen so many people come and go in my life to date, so many lives have begun, but even more have ended. My belief in god gives me hope that in the end, there’s something else. To believe that when life ends there’s nothing left is pretty harsh and even depressing, especially when you consider the things we have created and developed as humans.
