I gave my life to the Lord when I was just nine years old. People told me it didn’t count because I was too young to understand religion and faith. I was the good Christian girl. I stayed away from drugs, alcohol, didn’t have sex, didn’t curse, and lived according to the Bible. I went to church every Sunday. I was this girl until I turned 19 and turned my back on the church I’d been attending for 11 years.
I turned my back because I felt the church was being hypocritical. The family that first invited me to church was going through hard times. The mother’s mom had recently passed and she was experiencing a breakdown. The parents thought about divorce. The church wouldn’t allow them to keep their jobs with the church/school. They said divorce was wrong and it would be a bad influence to the children. I couldn’t believe this was happening. Members of the church were shunning a family that had helped so many people. In a time of need, we expect the congregation to be there for us, but it was the exact opposite. I couldn’t be a part of that so I never returned.
After that incident I began to see why so many non-Christians were quick to call us hypocrites. We couldn’t show compassion for our fellow Christians, why would a non-Christian want to be a part of that? For years, I simply didn’t go to a church because I wasn’t ready then. Last year, I decided I was ready to go back, but I hadn’t found a church still. My fellow Christians called me a bad Christian for not attending church. I didn’t care because the Lord knew my heart. I continued to read my Bible, pray, and praise the Lord.
A few months ago I had a breakthrough. I went out with a friend who had recently been saved and she just beamed of happiness. I could see the Lord working through her and I wanted to experience that again. Then I read a good Christian fiction novel and it touched my heart. I felt the message from that book and I wanted to see those changes in myself. I started a prayer journal, reading my Bible more, praying more frequently, and doing devotionals. After about two weeks of doing all of those things, I woke up one morning feeling rejuvenated. The lyrics from Amazing Grace, was lost but now am found, rang too true.
I feel an understanding with the Lord and everything seems to be falling into place. I’m feeling the Lord’s presence once again, although He never left, I was just slightly blind. I feel that I’m a better Christian now and I no longer doubt my faith. My faith is stronger and now others see the Lord working through me. I still haven’t found a church, but I am trying out different ones. I hope my journey only continues to get better. God bless you all.
