After reading some of my previous entries, I realized all I’ve written about lately is quite DEPRESSING, to be honest. But I woke up today in a different frame of mind, so I thought I’d post something positive rather than negative, while I was feeling so hopeful.
I have probably prayed more to God in the last month than I have my entire life. He’s changing me and I can feel it and see it. Don’t get me wrong. I still cry. I still get down. But today, God told me to look up!! Stop wallowing in self pity and low self esteem, caused by other people. Find something positive about today. So here are the positive things in my life:
First, I have an awesome family!! My Mother and Step Dad are getting older, so family time with them becomes more precious every time we’re together. My Dad passed away in 1989 but he still is with me, guiding me. I missed him terribly, but I know I’ll get to hug his neck all I want to someday. I have a sister and brother who always, ALWAYS have my back. They will never know how much I truly appreciate all the things they’ve done for me in my life. We also have in-laws, out-laws as we call them, who round out our family perfectly, not to mention the cousins that have blessed our family in the last 19 years. They may be all grown up, but they will always be the blessing they were the day we brought them home from the hospital.
As of this morning, I’m down 39 pounds, since February 2011. I started walking and I joined Weight Watchers and I feel GREAT!! No massive migraines in awhile. No heart palpatations. I look good and I feel good!! All my clothes are now too big, but hey, there’s a positive…I get to go shopping!!
I have a job I love. How many people can say that?? In this day and age, I’m blessed with a job that I don’t have to drive 50-100 miles, like a lot of people do. Oh, I’d love to make more money, sure, but it pays the bills, so why complain. My job has allowed me to grow and excel at what I do. I’ve learned alot about myself taking on a managerial role. And…I’m good at it. It’s also flexible enough that I’m able to pick up my kids at school, or take them to baseball practice. It’s awesome!!
I’m organized and I like being organized. Being organized makes my job and my life easier. I like that about myself. I like being able to find something when I’m looking for it. It also makes others lives easier if I can find what they’re looking for.
I have great kids. Ok, so they don’t always listen like I wish they would, but they really are good kids. They believe in God and family. We pray at meals, and when we or others have needs. They’ve watched their parents go to work everyday and they know we have to work for what we have. I pray we’ve taught them to be good human beings by example. They say “I love you” and it warms my heart every time. Their friends know that they are always welcome at our house. The more the merrier!!
I’m a good wife and mother. Oh, I’m sure I could cook more, but when I do cook, I enjoy it. I like to try new things to cook and it’s never turned out completely horrible. (Except maybe the time I put too many jalapenoes in a casserole, but they like it HOT!!) I do laundry for 3 sometimes 4 (we have a 20 year old)in the household. I mail bills and do all the shopping. I pay for school lunches and extracurricular activities and I love doing all these things for my family.
I’m a good friend, by listening. I try to help others with their problems, but the main thing is just giving someone to talk to. I don’t try to stick my nose in where is doesn’t belong, but I’ll always listen and be a sounding board for others to vent. Who doesn’t need to vent at some point?? God gave us two ears and one mouth for a reason…listen twice as much as you talk.
I enjoy ebay!! I started ebay a few years ago, just for fun and it allowed me to have a little side business of my own. I’ll never be rich from it or be a millionaire, but it’s a fun hobby and again…I can be organized!! I’d love to open up a shop where I could sell on consignment for others. Maybe when I retire, I can do just that. It will keep my mind sharp!! But for now, it’s a fun thing to do on the weekends.
I have a acquired a passion for writing! I’ve always loved to read and for some reason this summer, I had a wild hair to enter a writing contest. It had to be a short fiction story, with 1500 words or less. When I started the story, it just took off. I actually couldn’t type as fast as the ideas were coming to me!! I had started journaling years ago and stopped due to having a baby and life in general got too busy. But every time something would happen like a death, birth or other major life event, I would stll journal and still do. This writing contest got me thinking…maybe I might be good at this, and I really think I do great for an amateur. I haven’t heard from the contest yet, so keep your fingers crossed.
Finally, the most awesome positive thing in my life right now is my relationship with Jesus Christ. I’ve been a Christian since I was 14. I remember getting chills at a youth retreat when I asked Christ into my heart and be the Savior of my life. He has given me a wonderful life of love and friendship that I hope I never ever take for granted. But I’ve always leaned on Him more when things are tough. That’s human nature, I suppose. But this morning I was tired of wallowing in self pity, doubt and all the negatives in my life, that when I looked at myself in the mirror, He laid on my heart that I was ok and I had lots of positive things in my life that bless me every single day. I know He’s with me constantly and wants a relationship with me through good times and all the bad. I like this positive ME today. There’s too much negative in the world anyway, so I encourage you to do the same thing God led me to do today…find your positive and LOOK UP!!
II Corinthians 12: 9-10 “For when I am weak, then I am strong.”