Published by No matter which way you turn these days, it’s hard not to hear people gossiping about the Good Morning America interview Diane Sawyer has done with Mel Gibson. I started to wonder if there would ever be an end to the story of a drunken man who said some very inappropriate things. I caught a fifteen second snippet of the interview during the noontime newscast (which wasn’t news worthy at all), and in it he mentioned how he has been ostracized and not sure if there’s a second chance for him, but he’s hopeful there will be.
I was disgusted, so I jumped my car and went out for a few minutes to run errands. As Mel’s story was the last thing I saw, I began pondering his words about second chances; how many times does he have to apologize before people accept it? God quietly whispered in my soul a simple thought: “Why do Christians withhold forgiveness and second chances based on situations they have not personally be harmed by?” I was so struck by His words I almost hit a parked car on the side of the road.
Shakespeare eloquently penned in “The Merchant of Venice”, “…wrong us, do we not revenge?” Revenge is something Christians and Jews are explicitly and repeatedly warned against seeking. “ For we know Him who has said, ‘Vengeance belongs to Me, I will repay, says the Lord.’ And again, ‘The Lord shall judge His people.’ ” (Hebrews 10:30) In judging, we know we cannot judge the motives because only Jesus knows the inside hidden thoughts. “ Behold, You desire truth in the inward parts; and in the hidden part You shall make me to know wisdom. ” (Psalm 51:6)
Since we know the Father and Jesus know every single unspoken thought, do you have the right as a Christian to withhold forgiveness and second chances from someone who has not personally wronged you? If we look at Mel Gibson’s mess, everyone will generally admit what he said was awful, but did he make those comments to you personally?
King David, a man after God’s own heart, knew all sin was against God (vertical) and not against man (horizontal). “ Against You, You only, have I sinned, and done evil in Your sight ” (Psalm 51:4) Christians flock to Psalm 51 for a model prayer on confession and repentance, understanding we have grieved the Father and Son in one fell swoop.
People who will want to hold onto that anger and withhold a second chance will stand on their soapboxes and refer to other past incidents as well as how they might view his apologizes to ring hollow. The problem with this boils down to judging the inward parts that only the Father and Son intimately know.
I guess another way to put it would be to turn the tables on you for a moment. How many of you out there have been at parties and drank too much? We know drunk driving arrests and vehicular homicides are high in the United States, so even if it’s not you, chances are it’s someone you know, or the way you behaved in high school or college. How many times have you opened your mouth and said really dumb, hurtful things to friends or strangers who were conveniently there? I have, and every person I’ve ever partied with has. There’s a little framed plaque that hangs over my friend’s bar: “Liquor talks mighty loud when it gets loose from the jug.” No truer words were ever spoken!
The next day we pay for more than just a hangover – we pay for what our drunken mouths have done. We sober up, get behind the wheel and go visit the person we remember tearing into with a barrage of insults. If they’re our friend they will be mad and yell back, and they will forgive us for our lapse. They don’t make us apologize four or five times on multiple occasions, but you’ll probably have to say, “I’m sorry, Joe” a half a dozen times on the spot. We learned as kids that whenever we had a fight, we had to make up and apologize quickly and then let it go.
Why then do Christians hold onto Mel Gibson’s mistake after four or five separate apologies? Why hasn’t he been granted a second chance? “ Then Peter came to Him and said, ‘Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Until seven times?’ Jesus said to him, ‘I do not say to you, Until seven times; but, Until seventy times seven.’ ” (Matthew 18:21-22) The flavor of Jesus’ words were clear: we’re never to withhold forgiveness, and we’ve got no right to considering how many of our sins He forgives us for.
Sometimes, we like to hold celebrities up to higher standards than we’re willing to achieve ourselves. In Mel Gibson’s case, he has apologized numerous times, but to many it’s not acceptable because he’s a role model, a public figure who should know better and act accordingly. That sounds all well and good, but what if the situation were between you and your child? If you screwed up, how many times should your child ask you to apologize? Children may be many things, but their best quality is they forgive their role models – US – without making us feel any worse than we already feel. Why can’t we forgive and gladly give second chances with the childlike faith we’re called to exhibit?
Jesus also had words on several occasions in regards to “second chances”. We can point to the adulteress who was going to be stoned to death; Jesus said whomever is without sin can cast the first stone. The crowd leaves, and not only does He forgive her sin, he gives her a second chance by commanding her, “Go and sin no more.” What about the woman in Luke 7:37 who is known to be a prostitute, who comes in and washes the feet of Our Lord with her tears and anoints them? What does He say to the crowd at the table? He gives us the parable of the two debtors, and asks them to judge which one is more grateful to have their debt forgiven. “The one who owes the most”, they replied. “ Therefore I say to you, Her sins, which are many, are forgiven, for she loved much. But to whom little is forgiven, he loves little. ” (Luke 7:47) Paul warned us in 1 Corinthians 13 to beware of doing anything without love.
Dallas is considered to be the belt buckle of the Bible Belt, and yet I have met more false, carnal Christians here than any other place I’ve been. How incredibly sad! When I was laid off with ten years of experience in my field, I went on interview after interview. On numerous occasions I’d see Christian bracelets on the ladies, crosses on the gentlemen, and then have them ask me about my resume. My Christian charity business always attracted the most questions, but I always left feeling like a leper. I was grilled and viewed skeptically as a liar. “Who would start a charity business, draw no salary from it, send Christian materials in the Texas prison system, while being broke? It must be a ‘resume gap’ technique.” I had some potential employers tell me I wasn’t the owner of the business, but a friend who got me started selling on Ebay was. “No, the business is legal in Texas and I’m the sole owner – I pay the taxes, I make all the purchases, I ship all product, and it’s simply a charity vehicle.”
I spent two years out of work because no one would give me a second chance with a resume gap. I then went back to work for a few months before my job was outsourced to India. If a resume gap isn’t near fatal in Texas, bad credit is the death certificate. Everyone wants to run credit checks and ignore my resume, but I can’t fix my credit without a second chance. When I see Christian jewelry at an interview, it has consistently been the kiss of death, resulting in a “thanks for coming in, but we’ve decided to go with another candidate.”
I haven’t wronged any employer. I haven’t stolen anything. I worked hard, stayed late, came in on holidays and treasured quality output because I was brought up to believe it not only defined who I was, but was the best descriptor of my ethics. As a Christian, my responsibility is to give not only eight hours of honest work for eight hours of pay, but to protect the company and their secrets. In this day and age in which corporate spying results in huge losses, it should be of some comfort there is someone watching your back on the front line and expects nothing more than their usual paycheck. “ Masters, give to your slaves what is just and equal, knowing that you also have a Master in Heaven. ” (Col 4:1) Instead, I’ve encountered more odd looks as if I had three heads when trying to honor God’s Word.
Is there a second chance for people like Mel and myself? In God’s Kingdom it’s always a warm, resounding yes. The real world? Only the Father and Son know.
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