Four Healing Elements of Forgiveness

How would you feel if your relatives manhandled you, sold you so you would be brought into a foreign country, and when you got there you were later sent to prison for a crime you did not commit? While bitterness, anger and the thought of revenge would certainly be aroused in most people, the Holy Bible records how Joseph permitted the forgiveness of God to bring emotional and spiritual healing to those who once had mistreated him.

Hurts and Heartaches

Earlier, in Genesis 37, we read that Joseph’s brothers were indignant after he told them of his dreams that indicated they would one day bow down to him. His father’s favoritism toward him, punctuated by giving Joseph a coat of many colors, fueled their hatred of him. One day, their father Jacob sent Joseph to check on the well being of his siblings as they tended their flocks, and so Joseph ventured off, wearing that coat.

As his brothers saw him approaching in the distance, many of them planned for his murder. However, Jacob’s oldest son, Reuben, told his brothers they should not kill Joseph, but to cast him into a pit.

They did so, and ignoring his pleas of mercy, “they sat down to eat bread; and they lifted up their eyes and looked, and behold, a company of Ishmaelites came from Gilead with their camels, bearing spices and balm and myrrh, going to carry them down to Egypt.” (Genesis 37:25)

“And Judah said unto his brethren, “What profit is it if we slay our brother and conceal his blood? Come, and let us sell him to the Ishmaelites, and let not our hand be upon him; for he is our brother and our flesh.” And his brethren were content. Then there passed by Midianite merchantmen; and they drew and lifted up Joseph out of the pit, and sold Joseph to the Ishmaelites for twenty pieces of silver. And they brought Joseph into Egypt.” (Genesis 37:26-28)

He eventually became a servant to Potiphar, an officer of Pharaoh. Things went well for Joseph until Potiphar’s wife desired Joseph. She found Joseph alone in the house one day, grabbed his cloak, and insisted he have relations with her, but Joseph fled, leaving his cloak behind. Potiphar’s wife falsely accused Joseph of attempting to molest her, and he was promptly sent to prison.

While there, he had opportunity to interpret the dreams of two fellow prisoners: the one would be executed and the other one would be set free. He asked the one that would be set free to remember him before Pharaoh, but he forgot, and Joseph remained in jail for two years.

However, after interpreting two dreams that Pharaoh had about seven years of plenty and seven years of famine, Joseph was released from prison, became a ruler of Egypt second only to Pharaoh, and was placed in charge of preparing Egypt for the coming famine.

Trusting the Power of God

Though without a doubt Joseph had to deal with his bitterness toward his brothers, he apparently left room in his heart and mind for the mercy and life-changing power of God, and placed his brothers through a series of tests in their first and second visits to Egypt to buy food. His brothers had also listened to God, for they passed Joseph’s tests.

Joseph then revealed his identity to them along with unconditional forgiveness. He told his brothers to go back to Canaan and bring Jacob, themselves and their families to Egypt, which they did. (See Genesis 45 to 46).

Years later, Jacob died, and a spirit of fear came upon Joseph’s brothers, for we read the following in verses 15 to 17 of Genesis 50: “And when Joseph’s brethren saw that their father was dead, they said, “Joseph will perhaps hate us, and will certainly requite us all the evil which we did unto him.” And they sent a messenger unto Joseph, saying, “Thy father did command before he died, saying, “So shall ye say unto Joseph, “Forgive, I pray thee now, the trespass of thy brethren and their sin, for they did unto thee evil. And now, we pray thee, forgive the trespass of the servants of the God of thy father.”‘

Since there is no written record that Jacob actually did tell his sons’ to pass this request for forgiveness along to Joseph, I somewhat suspect they were lying again. And, if Joseph had the same suspicions, apparently it did not matter to him.

Nor did the horrid abuse done to him by his brothers matter anymore. Joseph purposely chose to find peace in God despite his abuse from his brothers.

He, indeed, could have easily retaliated, but as we continue to read we see his loving response to his brothers reveal four healing blessings of forgiveness each one of us should seek after.

I. Compassion

The last part of verse 17 reads, “And Joseph wept when they spoke unto him.” Weeping with godly love is a powerful way to be cleansed.

By contrast, our sinful nature focuses upon self. If one does not cry in self-pity, then bitterness takes root and develops unrighteous anger.

Joseph’s physical eyes wept, because he had seen in the spirit the great hand of God in everything that pertained to him. Not only did God graciously aid Joseph, but He had touched the hearts of Joseph’s brothers.

Perhaps while in the pit and the prison, Joseph realized that though he had the gift of interpreting dreams, he had his own faults, like anyone else.

II. Confession

When we are wronged, we expect those who have wronged us to admit their fault. There is nothing wrong with, and it is good for them to confess that they have done wrong.

However, the confession we need to make is as Joseph asked, “am I in the place of God?”

A difficult lesson for many of us to learn is the one found in Romans 12:19, “Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.”

If we truly know Christ as our Savior we have to heed that verse and continue by faith. That certainly crucifies our flesh, but that is very wholesome for our spirit.

Indeed, leaving such matters up to God might be extremely difficult for us, but if Christ truly dwells within us, we can let the life of His Son flow through us. Christ could have easily retaliated against the Centurions who were nailing Him to the cross, but prayed instead that His Father forgive them because they did not know what they were doing.

III. Consoling

In verse 19 and 21 Joseph tells his brothers not to fear. If you have read much of the Holy Bible you realize that God Himself, whether as Yahweh or Christ, often told His hearers not to fear. 1 John 4:18 instructs us that “perfect love casteth out fear.” Fear is the opposite of faith, and Joseph was nurturing his brothers to be men of faith.

Verse 21 concludes with the fact, “And he comforted them, and spoke kindly unto them.”

Oftentimes our tone of voice says far more than the words we speak. Joseph purposely chose to be consoling, propelling his brothers toward triumph and not torment.

IV. Commitment

Joseph extended his spiritual nurturing to meeting the physical needs of his brothers and their families, telling them, “I will nourish you and your little ones.”

In so doing, Joseph, in the mercy and love God, ministered to the entire being of each individual. His act of meeting the physical needs of his relatives was the outward crown of the inner blessings he bestowed upon their spirit and souls.

Daily his relatives had a tangible reminder that Joseph did indeed forgive them. And while the text does not say so, I think we can safely imagine that his brothers had learned to forgive others who had trespassed against them.

Ask for the Ability to Forgive

The account of Joseph and his brothers is blessing to read, and becomes a greater blessing when we put it into practice.

Yes, forgiving may be very difficult at times. However, I am sure that God would not mind us modifying the prayer of a father who pleaded with Christ, “Lord, I believe; help Thou mine unbelief,” by us asking, “Lord I forgive; help Thou mine lack of forgiveness.”

And if we mean it, we will find a flood of His cleansing, compassionate love swelling up within us, and flowing out with confession, consolation and commitment.

For more information on forgiveness, please see “The Forgiveness Factor.”