God’s Signs

Going into the summer, I had a girlfriend. I can’t say I was 100% happy, but I was pretty content with it, and I liked her a lot. We had quite a bit of drama with us, but we worked pretty well. I went on a trip out west for two weeks with my family at the end of June, something that kind of took a strain with me and her. We argued a lot, but when I finally got home things got a little better.

Prior to this, I hadn’t been going to church. I hadn’t been praying to God, I had pretty much dropped my Christian life. Not because of her at all, but because of me. I just didn’t really care anymore. Sometimes, to be honest, I truly didn’t even believe he existed. And then I was sent to camp.

I was actually really pissed at my parents; they had just taken me away out west for 2 weeks and now I had to leave again for soccer/church camp for a whole week. Well I was wrong. The week at camp was the best week I’d had in a long time. I got to escape the drama of my girlfriend, I made some really good friends, and I got really really close to God again. Like…really close. On the last night of camp I swear I could feel him and I felt more confident about him than anything else, and that’s when he made me realize I don’t need or want a girlfriend right now. Before I can put energy into a relationship with a girl, I want to be able to be in a relationship with him. And I had neglected that part of me for so long that I needed to take time off to work on it again.

So when I came home I had one dang awkward conversation with my girlfriend, who had actually been thinking about breaking up with me, except didn’t actually think it would happen, and I just kind of pushed it through. Things became bad and she wasn’t happy and I felt horrible, yet I had never been so confident in my life.

Over the next week I went to the church soccer camp and helped with the little kids, I went to church and youth group for the first time in forever. I found myself reading the bible all the time, and just being a totally different person. There was still the drama with my ex, who continued to think I had other reasons for breaking up with her than “God”. People told her it made no sense and that I most likely met some other girl at camp, and while yes there were lots of girls at camp, I definitely never liked any of them. My reason was genuine.

And then the weeks went by. I found myself not at church, not at youth group, not reading the bible, and not praying anymore. I got scared, because the feeling I had had that last night of camp was no longer there. I couldn’t feel him in me anymore. So two nights ago I prayed to him. I asked him to send me some sort of a sign that what I had felt wasn’t fake, that I was still on the right path for whatever he was working towards. Anything to reassure me; whethere one of my friends from camp messaged me on Facebook, or texted me, or I found a verse in the bible that explained everything to me. I was desperate for absolutely anything.

The next evening I was helping out at a Vacation Bible School with my church in a neighboring town. I was still feeling kind of down about the whole situation with God and my life, but I was hoping maybe assissting with the church would help my mood. When I walk in there is one thing that I notice first; a guy wearing a blue shirt that’s very familiar to me. His blue shirt was the camp counselor shirt from the camp I went to. It had the logo and everything. I didn’t recognize the man, there were a lot of people at this camp, but still. Of all the nights, of all the places in the country (this camp wasn’t local) this guy was wearing this shirt at the same time I was there. Right after I prayed to God for a sign.

Frankly, I wanted to break down in tears. It hit the spot just like the night when God talked to me. For all the non-Christians out there, it was just a lame coincidence, and you are entitled to your opinion. But to me it was God telling me that I was still on the right path. I still had control and I was still doing the right thing. And that’s exactly what I needed in my life.