Single Black Christian Woman Chronicles Day 20

I’ve been talking to Daddy and thinking about this topic a lot recently. We hear the phrase “Virtuous Woman” everywhere, but what does it really mean? What does it look like to be a virtuous woman? I’ve taken things I’ve seen from scripture, and in my pastor and mentors and come up with some visible traits I’ve seen of the classy and blessed virtuous woman. These are definitely traits and habits I want to imitate and develop. What about you?

1. A virtuous woman is spirit-fulled…

Can you and the people around you see the fruit of the Spirit in your life? “The fruit of the [Holy] Spirit [the work which His presence within accomplishes] is love, joy (gladness), peace, patience (an even temper, forbearance), kindness, goodness (benevolence), faithfulness, Gentleness (meekness, humility), self-control (self-restraint, continence). Against such things there is no law [[a]that can bring a charge],” Galatians 5:22-23 (AMP). Being spirit-filled has it’s advantages. The Holy Spirit can help us out of sticky situations and give us wisdom when we don’t know what to do in certain circumstances. He can also bring the word back to our remembrance when we become overwhelmed by what things look like on the outside. In addition to all this, the Holy Spirit prays for us when we don’t know what to pray. I’m getting happy just thinking about all the Holy Spirit means and is!

2. A virtuous woman is anointed

“The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to set the oppressed free,  to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.“ Luke 4:18-19 (TNIV). Jesus says these words in Luke four at the beginning of His ministry. Just as His ministry was to break chains of bondage, restore sight, remove oppression, and declare jubilee, so do we have the same assignment. Why? Because as He is so are we in this world. So, I’m asking this question to me as well as to you; are we living selfishly just thinking about how we can benefit and help ourselves and amass blessings to sit on, or are we proactively doing the work of Jesus’ ministry as His Body? When is the last time you proclaimed freedom to anyone? I know, I know, it’s not easy evaluating self (and believe me when I say I’m talking to me, too so I know what you’re feeling. That little twist in your gut. mmmhm. Say it with me, “Ouch.” ) When was the last time you spoke the truth IN LOVE to a brother or sister? When was the last time you brought joy to a person and declared the Lord’s favor over them? I don’t know about you, but I see room for improvement in me. I pray that God would give you and I His heart for His people and the lost so that when we encounter them, they leave our presence free, seeing, and jubilant. 

3. A virtuous woman is powerful

She has the ability to affect change in the world. She has power over the enemy, given to her by Jesus, and she knows her authority in Him.  She is not afraid to do the word and see the results.

4. Knows who she is

This sista is so done with identity crises. As my friends and Sweet Brown would say, “Ain’t nobody got time for that!” She knows she is made in the image of God. She knows, not supposes, she is fearfully and wonderfully made. And she knows that she is a woman made by the purposeful design and intent of God and she walks like it. 

5. knows who her Daddy is…

Can I be frank with you? A whole and complete virtuous woman is not looking for a sugar daddy, or a man to fill the hole her earthly father left. She knows that God is her provider. She’s not looking to a man to meet her needs. God is the one she runs to when her emotions are going haywire; He’s the one she goes to when she needs advice. God’s the one she calls on to make it better. A virtuous woman allows God to heal any daddy pain she may have incurred from her natural father and allows Him to redeem her pain and turn it to joy.

6. Uses her faith

She knows that faith–not tears, not emotions, not strong desires– faith pleases God. When adverse situations face her, she doesn’t call it as she sees it. No, she’s the kind of gal who calls those things that are not as though they were and rejoices when they manifest.

7. Participates instead of spectates

She recognizes that her participation can change the life of one soul. Her heart is in tune with God. She is not passive about ministry but ministers from a passion born from spending time with Him and refueling in His presence.

8. Supports the weight of the vision of her pastors/church (submits)

Yes, I said the “s” word. But before you click that little red X at the top of the page, let me give you a definition of the “s” word I’m pretty sure you’ve never heard before. To submit is like seeing your pastors lifting a heavy object like a table and running over to come under it and help lift it with them. Please note that it is not prostrating yourself on the floor and allowing whoever to walk over you. It means to be a team player. If that means doing something you wouldn’t ordinarily do or stepping out of your box or comfort zone, a virtuous woman is willing to do it because she can see the big picture. 

9. Honors her temple:

Before I talk about another “s” word, I’m going to talk about… Exercise! Whoo! Okay maybe you’re not cheering about this one, so hear me out. Would you say you love yourself? Okay,  here’s a scenario my pastor used: You’re out somewhere and you see a couple. The guy keeps kicking and punching the woman. Each time he says, “You know I love you right.  I love you. I love you so much.” Do you really believe that this guy loves the woman? No! Of course not! I’m going to say ouch even before I get to the point cuz this one’s hitting home. How can we say that we love ourselves when we’re buffeting ourselves to death? God wants us to be whole and healthy inside and out. He wishes that we prosper and be in good health even as our soul’s prosper. If you struggle with weight, God can help you win the battle. If food is your fight, ask God to help you come into right relationship with food. Start small. Decide to eat healthy as a lifestyle (not a diet! They don’t work!). Couple this with exercise keeping in mind that you are God’s temple and you’re doing it as worship to Him. It helps when you hit that wall and you’re gasping for air… I know, trust me. I’ve been there. 

Now we can talk about that other “s” word. Not only does a virtuous woman save herself until marriage, or if she has made mistakes recommits to save herself for marriage, but she does everything necessary to honor God when she’s alone with just herself and her imagination. When temptation comes, she does like Jesus and says what is written. Now there are times when you need to run from temptation; when it’s you and Boodro and the lights are dim, run. But you can’t run from you, so you’re going to need a few good scriptures in your arsenal and a few good accountability girlfriends in your corner to help you when it’s just you and the lights are dim and your imagination is live and revved up. Don’t pull that super Christian face, you know what I’m talking about! Tell the truth and shame the devil. 

10. Is a leader:

You never know who is watching you to see your character. Whether you’re on the job, in a class, with friends or family, or at church your life is representing Jesus to someone. And guess what? They will follow you as you follow Him. Even if they’re tough on you and don’t seem receptive, there is nothing more powerful than a faithful lifestyle witness to back up what your words are saying about this life.

I’ll leave you with this one today. It’s from my personal arsenal: Psalm 63: 6-8 (TNIV) “On my bed I remember you; I think of you through the watches of the night. Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings. I cling to you; your right hand upholds me.”