Published by The expectation that something dreadful is about to happen brings a worrisome apprehension into your thought life. Imaginations begin to blossom and you replay the same old tape over again, singing the tune of: “what if’s.” You’ve taught yourself to expect the worse and begin looking for it to happen. As your self-fulfilled prophecy, comes to pass; “you knew it would happen, because you expected it.”
Sound familiar? You are not alone in these thinking processes. Fear is the largest strongman that abounds on this planet earth, as he tell lies, destroys families and robs others of peace and joy. Where there was once a zealous love for others can be replaced by thoughts of consuming introspection. How did this ever happen and how can you climb your way back out of this dark pit?
Everywhere I look, I see doom and gloom. When listening to the media, all you hear is bad, sad news. When I talk to a friend of mine and she tells me that everyone she talks to are afraid of what is going to happen in their lives and in their nation. Fear and more fear is being reproduced through the airwaves, into our living rooms, while we drive, wherever we happen to be at the time and we are listening to this junk. This junk, then travels into our ears and if we allow it; goes one step further, into our hearts. When it settles into our hearts, we multiply these toxic statements every time we bring it up in conversations and it goes back into the airwaves once again and repeats the cycle all over again. We are multiplying fear, by accepting what people are saying at their word! This doesn’t mean that everyone who is reporting the news is lying, but due to the negative words of war on terrorism, death and starvation (to name a few subjects) doesn’t mean we have to hang onto every word they speak or build upon them. We only do that because we form habits of complaining, which can easily be a manifestation of anger. This is another cycle that is homegrown from fear. Fear can cause, Anger = depression = complaints. Fear can also be related to pride in some people. Such as: Fear of losing the race or the deal, fear of humiliation, fear of “making a fool of yourself.” Where have we heard that one? Out of many mouths.
Job said, “For the thing which I greatly fear comes upon me, and that of which I am afraid befalls me” in 3:25amp. Job was considered by God to be a perfect and upright man in his sight. He lost his home, his livestock and all his family. He was stricken with boils all over his body and the pain was so great, he looked disfigured. When his wife urged him to renounce God and die, his reply was, “What? Shall we accept [only] good at the hand of God and shall we not accept [also] misfortune and what is of a bad nature? In [spite of] all this Job did not sin with his lips.” 2:10amp. Later on, Job is so miserable, he asks why he was even born. His three “godly” friends give him long lectures on why this has happened to him. They have the answer to his problems and relay how Job is truly a victim of God’s anger. Who needs friends like that! In other words, they were saying “since you have lost everything you have, God must really be against you! You need to repent and do penitence.” How sad, that this same scenario is still being played today in various ways. It is called “judging others.” It is for this reason that other’s fear what other’s are thinking about themselves. If we are honest, we know deep down, how people judge, because most of us do it to each other, without even thinking. We have to train ourselves out of this self righteous act. In reality, we cannot judge anyone if we are honest and examine our own hearts.
People live in fear of not being able to measure up in other people’s eyes. They may not be thin enough, tall enough, smart enough or pretty enough. This fear takes them to the plastic surgeon so they can be accepted instead of rejected. Job’s “friends” were actually rejecting him by judging him. Job stood his ground, although he was terribly disappointed in his friends. Fear can come through believing the lie, that you are not worthy of love. Love is what everyone is after. Most of the time, we get married because we are in love, we have babies because we love, hopefully, we go to work because we love it. Our whole existence is because of love. We search for love on the internet, through introductions to other people, hanging out in different areas in the hope of meeting the right person at the right time. It’s all about love. Love is the opposite of fear. Fear will keep you from love and fulfilling your greatest desires if you choose to listen to the lies that fear whispers. Fear will say, “you are too old now, no one will ever want you.” Believe me when I say this, there is always someone around the corner who will find you attractive and would find you to be, the perfect person!” You just haven’t met each other yet. The only time it is too late, is when you are pushing up daisies.
Stop comparing yourself with other people. There will always be someone prettier, smarter, shorter, thinner, taller, bustier, smaller, more popular and with more money than you. But so what? None of them can even come close to who you are. God made you unique. He made us all different and that is something we must remember and accept. I may not be the best in math like that other person I admire, but he isn’t an artist like me either. If God made me to be a bright shiny orange, why should I try to be an apple or a banana? If I tried to be an apple, it would have those dark holes in it with a few worms peeking outside. If I tried to be a banana I’d be a “blackened” banana ripening too quickly, and certainly not attractive to anyone. I can be that gorgeous lovely orange though. Be what God has made you to be. If you don’t know what your passion is, it is time to begin to find out. Most important, stop the cycle of repeated fears, and that is what they are “repeated fears,” that cause you to go around in circles, not accomplishing anything except dragging you further down, where you don’t want to be. Worry is the fear of losing something that hasn’t happened yet. We borrow trouble. Why borrow trouble that you haven‘t seen yet, when enough happens in your life; just by living!
Have you heard of what happens to a dog that has gotten cornered against a wall? The animal will either fight or flight. Some determined dogs will show their teeth and tear into the perpetrator with a vengeance. Others, given the first chance will run as fast as they can to get away. People are like that, too. Some think, “well, I’m going to have to fight this person eventually and I’m tired of ignoring this bully; all for the possible fear of losing the fight. I may as well deal with it now.” The young boy, pushed down all past fears he had and dealt with his situation once and for all. With the second instance, there are people who just do not like violence and will do anything to prevent a fight. They could also have the fear of losing and be putting off the inevitable by running away one more time. This is how we learned to handle school bullies when we went to school. We may have ran home as fast as we could and when we reached home, we found peace, behind that screen door and we felt safe, but deep down we knew we’d have to deal with this problem of the bully, whether we wanted to or not, but fear kept delaying the time. The fear of losing, fear of getting beat up or fear of just feeling you aren’t able to do it weighs heavily upon your heart. When you turn around and face the problem, you are forced to do something about it, whether you feel like it or not. Here is the good news. Fear is a always a coward! Once you boldly face up to the thing that fear is using to keep you in chains and look at it squarely in it’s eyes, you are going to see a coward, and this fear will break down and leave. You will be set free from these lies.
Fear vs. Love
- Fear always says “you can’t.”
- God says, “you are more than a conqueoror.”
- Fear says “You aren’t.”
- God says “you are a child of God.”
- Fear says, “you are going to die.”
- God says, “I have life everlasting in Christ.”
- Fear takes away, and decreases.
- God gives in abundance.
Fear makes you feel guilty, but God sets you completely free from all shame. He says, He loves you and remembers your sins no more.
Who are you going to believe? What report? The report from fear or from God? You can be paralyzed in a invisible prison, unable to go anywhere in your life, or you can be completely filled with joy, sprinkling love dust everywhere you go.
Have you noticed how the opposite sides of a magnet repel each other? They aren’t in agreement as their forces resist connecting. Turn them around and they click together. This is what it is like with fear and love. On one side of the magnet, you are clicking with the truth of what God says, believing it and putting it to use in your life. You are linked together. On the other side of the magnet, you are moving with the force of fear that resists everything good that God wants to give to you.
“For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” Ti.1:7
God gives us the power we need to combat any fear in your life. Power to resist the habitual thoughts that we have watered for too long and replace them with good thoughts. For every fearful and worrisome thought, replace it with a good thought. Allow peace to replace that fear. If you cannot do anything about your situation, then, you can say a prayer about it and let it go once and for all. If your circumstances are abusive, push back fear and seek help. There are people just waiting to help you. Those that love you, would not want you to stay in a cruel and abusive lifestyle.
St. Paul tells us what we should be thinking about.
“Finally brethern, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think of these things Philippians 4:8 KJV.”
We are to replace our old fearful thoughts with the above good ones. Pull on any sweet memories you may have gathered along your way and think of them. Think of how much God loves you and how he gave you his son. Think about how he knew you, before you knew him. Meditate upon his goodness, and how he has plans for your life, no matter where you are on your journey. When you wake up in the morning, begin to give thanks for the life you are living. Write down all the things you can be thankful for and notice how good you are feeling afterwards. Read that list every evening before you go to bed and when you have your coffee in the morning. Add more, as you think of more things. A fearful heart, cannot be thankful, but a loving one can. When you give thanks, you are pushing your fears away.
All fears need to be dealt with, so you can have a successful journey along your way. Look at the difference between a pond that has turned green from stagnation and algae and a fast moving creek. The pond is simply there, growing scum and pollution, but the fast moving creek has somewhere to go and is busy going there, filled with a rich, pure life. Fear will stagnate your life and put you into a rut and you won‘t be able to move into the successful happy life you want.
Three good examples of how you could face fears could be:
- Fear of speaking in front of people. This is very common, especially in famous people, but they face this all of the time and it finally backs away. If you have this fear, begin by speaking in front of one or two people and as your confidence increases, enlarge your audience a little bit at a time. You will discover the more you speak, the more confidence you will have. Always know your subject well and be prepared with notes.
- Fear of heights. This is common too. Depending upon the degree of your fear, you could begin by getting on a chair or the first step of a ladder and stay there for a few minutes. As you feel better, go up higher and stay just a little bit longer. Always have a friend with you, so you won’t get dizzy or fall. If you have a fear of flying, you can work your way up for that flight, by beginning on that chair. Go slowly.
- Fear of rejection. Do not confuse correction with rejection. One we need, the other we can dismiss. Remember that everyone experiences rejection in one way or another but it is how we react to it, is what counts. The one who rejected you, has been rejected himself. Most of the time, we shouldn’t take rejection personally, but it is usually for some other reason we may have “lost that job or, lost the one we loved.” Usually, it is because of the struggling dysfunctional mindset the rejecter himself has. Do not allow this to penetrate or take any roots inside of you. Pull yourself up, smile in that mirror and remember, today is another day God has given to you. We have to have a little rain to appreciate the sunshine.
We learn through our trials. When we hurt, we usually learn not to hurt another, because we know how agonizing it feels. Instead, we will choose to help instead of delving in self-pity or give into fear. In all things, pray and expect God to be at your side when things seem to be just too big for you to handle. He hears the cries from your heart and understands what you need. He begins to set lives in motion, behind the scenes, to bring about the answer to your prayers. Never give up, always hang onto hope. Nothing is too large or too small in God’s eyes. You will never be abandoned or orphaned.
Once again, remember, to give it all to God; once and for all, knowing he has heard your prayers of faith. Then, walk away expecting…
