What Kind of Friend are You?

Jesus was met in the garden by his friend, Judas and the armed men who’d come to arrest him. Judas kissed Jesus on the cheek so the soldiers he’d brought could identify the person he had just sold. When he saw Jesus being arrested, Peter, angry that his teacher and friend was being taken away from him, drew his sword and chopped off one of the soldier’s ear. Jesus, not one for violence, meekly healed the man’s ear and followed him out of the garden.

We see at least four types of personalities in this short exchange. Which one are you when it comes to friendships?

Judas

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Judas was a close friend to Jesus right up to the time he sold him out. Shortly before the infamous kiss, he sat with him and enjoyed dinner with the rest of the group. Judas, so blinded by what he could get for himself, sold out one of his best friends for roughly the price of a slave.

Are you the type of friend that hangs around just because you think your friends have got contacts in high places, and the association would be advantageous to you? Do you keep them close while looking for your chance to exploit them for your own gain? Are you dressing up the friendship by making empty gestures, while you bide your time, waiting for the right moment to serve yourself? Is your sense of self gain so important to you that you would betray your ‘friend’ for any material gain you could get?

If you’re this type of friend, you’re like Judas. Leave the friendship if you don’t really care for the person, because even though you’ll hurt that person once, it’s your soul and your character that will be soiled forever. How will you live with yourself then?

Peter

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Peter made a grand, hot-headed gesture of perceived bravery. Was it guilt about his thoughts of cowardice at being associated with Jesus that made him react like this? We will never know. However, later when he was sure Jesus was in trouble and the hunt was on for his followers, Peter denied knowing him three times. He refused to be there to make a difference when Jesus really needed him.

Are you the type of friend that’s the ‘life of the party’ when things are going great? You’re not scared to get your hands dirty and are great at getting things done. You’re the voice of the group and are not afraid to vent your feelings for the world to hear. You see yourself as the greatest friend; the one who gets things done while others stand around and mope. However, when friends are in real need, you feel too overwhelmed by your own life and worries to take make any real commitment. You don’t want to be overburdened by the needs of anyone else. You will do what you can when you’re there, but sacrificing your own needs above your friends’ is not something you’re willing to take on.

If you’re this type of friend, you’ll never reach other people’s hearts. They’ll hang out with you and have fun, but when they really need someone to talk to, you’re not the person they’ll call. You need to grow up and take stock of how you value others – if at all, because one day soon, you’ll have a real need and no one will come knocking on your door.

The Soldier

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The soldier came to arrest Jesus, probably prepared for a fight to ensue. After all, he must have heard that this man, Jesus the accused, hung around with twelve other men. Many of these men had been fishermen, so they were well-built, sturdy men with powerful shoulders and rough hands. Jesus himself had been a carpenter for a period of time, so he was a physically fit, robust man. It would’ve been very difficult for him to look like the ‘golden boy,’ slim images we’ve seen of him all our lives. Carpenters in those days built wooden wheels for chariots. Rough hands, muscular arms and strong shoulders came with the territory.

Jesus, however, didn’t put up a fight, and just when the soldier thought that everything was going to go smoothly, he was attacked by this madman with a sword. Anyone would panic if they see their ear fall to the ground, even if Emergency personnel are just a mobile phone call away. Jesus helped this man when he healed his ear. What did he do for Jesus? Did he just carry on with his job and bring him in anyway?

Are you a friend that takes but never gives? Are you one of the energy sappers that always have a sad story to relate to your friends? They offer a listening ear, and sometimes offer advice. They’re always on your side and agree with your points of view. They’re long suffering and have seen you through years of turmoil, joy, pain and happiness. They’re always happy about your successes and wish you the best in your endeavours. Yet, you have no time to listen to them. If you do, you talk about their troubles behind their backs and expose their most secret thoughts to anyone who would listen. You’re not prepared to give any of your time to listen when they need a sympathising ear. When good things happen to them, instead of rejoicing, you’re jealous. You wonder ‘why them’ and fret about when ‘your time’ is going to come. You soak up their energies, but you never give anything in return. Most importantly, you don’t notice when they do something good for you. Your attitude says you do not appreciate the kindness they’ve done, and see their good deed as your rightful inheritance.

If you’re a friend like this, you will never prosper. Being thankful for what we’re given, sheds a glowing light on the things we already possess. The more we look for blessings, the more we find them in our lives. It’s about personal perception. Living in the darkness of jealousy and greed casts negative shadows even on the things others see as beautiful. Giving makes us happy, but only the person who lives by this motto knows how true this is. If you have to ask how this is so, then you really need to make some changes right now.

Jesus

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The night before Judas sold him, Jesus broke bread and gave it to him. He knew what was about to happen, but he invited him in and treated him with equal respect and love as he did the others. Jesus also knew that Peter was to betray him, yet he shared a meal with him and spoke to him lovingly. Even the soldier who came to arrest Jesus was treated with utmost kindness and honour. Jesus went out of his way to do something good, not only for his friends, but his enemies and those who sought to destroy him.

Are you this kind friend? Do you go out of your way to help others, even those who’re not there for you when you need them? I stay away from people who have hurt me, or those I know who don’t like me. I try hard to be a friend like Jesus, but don’t always come up to par.

What kind of friend are you?Are you the Judas type, the Peter type or are you struggling to be the Jesus type with little or no success? Whatever type you are, remember that you can make someone else’s day by just lending an ear when they’re down. Give some of your time to a friend in need, today.

For more on relationships with friends, visit my blog, The Relationship Supermarket.com