“You may now kiss the bride.”, and “You are now married to this person you just met, now you will be taken away to his home, where you will cook, clean and be his wife.” are both what is said after a marriage ceremony is held. There is a big difference between those two quotes; one is after a marriage in America, and the second is from an Islamic country. Marriage is a tradition that almost all cultures follow and respect. It can be radically different according to the culture’s view on religion. Religion is a large part of marriage in most cultures. Marriage in America is much different then marriage in Islamic countries because of the way people are wed, the way couples act when they are married, and the amount of rights the wife has.
In America, two people fall in love, and are happily married to each other. It is not so much like this in Islamic countries, where the women are forced to marry a man, and if they don’t get married, then it shames their whole family. The “average marriage” in America is thoroughly planned out, and everyone in the family goes, and it’s a huge amazing thing. In A Thousand Splendid Suns, the woman is married almost without notice, and before that faithful day, she had dreaded being shipped away from her home with a strange man, which eventually happened. So the marriages are differently planned and differently looked upon.
The way a wife is supposed to act in an Islamic culture marriage referring to A Thousand Splendid Suns, is to be the cook, clean everything, take care of the man, and be there for sex. This usually doesn’t occur in America because it is more about relationship. Many couples in America love each other when they are married. That is not always the case in the book, where the woman dreads every day, and hates her husband and life. I think that marriage in American culture if mostly for companionship, so being married is different in the two cultures.
In America the woman has many more rights than a woman in an Islamic Country. In A Thousand Splendid Suns, the man chooses when to have a baby, where the woman goes, what she wears, and controls the woman’s’ lives! He even makes her chew rocks that break her teeth because her rice was “like tiny pebbles”! In America woman have many more rights by law. So this is important to how governments control and regulate rights in their countries. If these countries had laws about woman and how much respect and rights they should have, marriage would change. One thing to note on this, the woman do agree to marry, but if they do not agree they are looked down upon and shamed by their families.
In conclusion, marriage is a huge part of these two cultures. If you think about it, who doesn’t get married? 2002 statistics say that 59% of the U.S. population is married. (http://www.divorcemag.com/statistics/statsUS.shtml) It’s amazing how popular something like this is. Marriage is affected by rights, and religion in a culture. The rights affect how the woman is treated, and religion determines how the ceremony is held, and what marriage means. So marriage is marriage, but there are many influences that alter everything about it.
Hi
First of all thanks a lot for this article, second I’m an Arabic, Muslim girl so excuse me for any language or spelling mistakes.
Ummm kindly if you want to write about such thing you should know the correct information.
It’s right that the marriage is arranged but at the same time the girl has her rights to reject if she doesn’t want to marry that guy.
And the guy she is going to married wont be stranger because they can know each other during the engagement. And during this time they both decide when to have babies and every thing about their future life.
And yes the wife cooks and clean every thing but also she works out side and balance between her personal and professional life.
And I think the Islam gave us all the rights we need I m saying that because im one of these lucky women’s.
Thank you for your input, i greatly appreciate your response. i was just going by the information from the book: A Thousand Splendid Suns. It is great to actually hear from a Muslim girl. I just want to say i value this information, and now i know. Thanks again
The women in Islam are given the choice of men to marry and they are not compelled to marry any man prescribed by parents. we should not mix culture, societal whims and religious affairs together.In America,Britain and other Western Countries,royal families does not allow nor encourage their wards to marry from outside except with other noble and royal families and so it is in other parts of the world.establish contact with an Islamic scholar let him or her explain the concept of marriage in Islam the place of women in Islam for better understanding
As sara said, you have to get your information correct.
I’m Also an Arabic Muslim and I hate to say this, because it shows how your “American” culture is very materialistic and inclining to animals in some aspects. But, let me say, and it is only just for me to say, that not all Americans are like this. There are people who view “sexual relations” as something that should be initiated after marriage.
An average American has about 8 (Eight) sexual relationshipS before settling with one. I think that many of the American people are completely deprived of the blessings of Islam as Islam benefits both women and men.
Qur’an – [3:195] Their Lord responded to them: “I never fail to reward any worker among you for any work you do, be you male or female – you are equal to one another.
So please, this is only your wishful thinking. No educated Arab/Muslim (male of female) would ever want his culture to transform into this secular culture of yours which have perverted even its major religion (Christianity) into something despicable.
Many western societies suffer from a moral crisis, and allowing gay marriages is just another expression of this crisis.
Peace to those who follow guidance
Source: Translation of Interpretation of Qur’an and My opinion
Hello. Before writing this, or anything like this, I reccomend you research before you write claims which have no validation.
Islam and culture are not at all the same. There are hundreds of cultures but only one Islam. A thousand Splendid Suns is a sad portrayal of the fact that everything can go wrong when people chose to follow their whims and culture, and not the commandments of their religion.
People in Arab countries watch MTV where American woman are degraded, naked and lonely. How ignorant would it seem for an Arab to say, “yes, all Christians wear bikinis, have babies before marriage and are from violent families”?
Sometimes its easy to claim things that seem disturbing and wrong. However if you want people to believe you and to trust what you say, you have to make sure you are saying the right thing!
Believe me, Im a Muslim and I’ve seen horrible abuse and neglect because people fail to follow their religion. But I have also seen strong, dominant women who own their money, work and contribute too much to society. (ex my mother!)
And my mother’s strength is not because she is “westernized” or “Americanized” instead it is because she follows the rights that Islam has given her
hmmm…good write up but it is more like Pakistani Culture…
well as long as a islam involves in every culture that screws every body\’s life. we cant go back to years and years ago and follow what mohamd said. we are living in 21st century not those days.
i am totally disagreed with this article and comments about the marriages in Islam. i think marriage in Islamic culture is way better than american culture. The beauty of marriage in Islam is cannot be expressed by words and we have our own specialties. if we wanna compare American and other cultures, the divorce rate in American marriages is extremely high compared to others. Most of the American get married just because they wanna have sex and after a couples of month they got divorced. im not saying all of them but most of them are likely to take marriage lightly. for example the american celebrities. Marriages are meant for life not for hours.
I disagree with this article. Not all muslim women are not forced to get married. They have feelings too and do fall in love. GET YOUR SOURCES STRAIGHT!!!