THE BALANCE OF POWER
Men cheat. They have since the concept of cheating was etched in stone and given to us by Moses as part of the Ten Commandments. There are actually two Commandments which talk about cheating; “Thou shall not commit adultery,” (that one is pretty straight forward) and “Thou shall not covet (desire, yearn or long for) thy neighbor’s wife.” Aside from the biblical ramifications of cheating, there are some other consequences you may not be aware of. Many men who cheat feel they have everything under control; meticulously planning and plotting rendezvous for extra-marital encounters, but they are giving away the most significant piece of their being. A man gives away his power when he cheats and women can exploit that power at any time.
Don’t believe me? Look at Herman Cain. We may never know whether or not he actually had an affair with Ginger White, but it was her coming forward that sealed the casket on Cain’s presidential run. The minute he began giving her money over a decade ago, he gave her his power. Only the perception of cheating is enough to transfer power to a woman and it is this power the woman desires. To find the root of this hunger for power, you must go back to the first couple we all know; Adam and Eve. Even if you are not a religious person, you will see how this fits into relationships today.
THE FIRST “POWER TRANSFER”
Let’s look at the exact passages which explain this. Genesis Chapter 3 explains Eve taking fruit from the forbidden tree and God’s punishment of Adam and Eve. Most of us know they were cast out of the Garden, but He also brought down additional “curses” which we live with today. Verse 16 states; “…And He said to the woman: I will sharpen the pain of your pregnancy, and in pain you will give birth.” It goes on to what is an indication of why women are seemingly driven to this transferring of power; “…And you will desire to control your husband, but he will rule over you.”
That alone is pretty compelling and a good argument for the behavior of women cheating with men in relationships, but there is more. Why did Eve take the fruit in the first place? Growing up, we learned of the serpent in the Garden of Eden tricking her into taking the fruit. Well, how did he do that? Did he put her in a trance? Did he threaten her? No, he told her if she ate from the tree that she would know what God knows and she would be like Him. She desired the power God “kept” from her.
OVERCOMING TEMPTATION AND RETAINING POWER
In today’s world, it is increasingly difficult to stay faithful in marriage. Wayne Dyer has a great quote, “When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” This is one of the best defenses from the temptation to cheat. Men see cheating as a conquest. This is an improper view of what cheating does. If you start to look at cheating as women trying to “TAKE” power from you, you will see these women for the power-hungry people they are. I know I enjoy my power and I’m not giving it to anyone.
Sometimes seeing cheating from a alternate perspective is not enough. The temptation may seem too great and your current relationship may not be the green pastures you envisioned when you said “I do,” but the relationship is what you, as a man, make it. Just as you are the head of your household, you need to be the head of your relationship. Remember: Even your wife desires your power, but you rule over her. That does not mean you tell her what to do and where to go. You must first understand your wife and her view of a healthy relationship; then plan the course of your relationship with her. The best relationships are those in which the man leads with the wife beside him; not behind him or vice versa.