Published by You can go to Hell! Only Heaven knows how hard I’ve tried to straighten you out! But remember, ya can’t get to Heaven on roller skates ‘cause you’ll roll right past them pearly gates. Whether it’s a match made in Heaven, Heavenly hash or birds of Paradise, only God knows where the Devil that Goddamn button is that I dropped on the floor!. Or does She?
Heavens to Betsy! All I know is, that when that sweet chariot carries me Home, I’ll know it. No more pain, no more problems, only good things. Just lemme get Home when my days melt away to nothin’. Get me to the Happy Hunting Grounds. That’s Home enough.
And speaking of Home: Home on the range, Home is where the heart is, I wanna go Home, Home sweet Home, Gimme a Home where the buffalo roam, etc., etc., etc. Whatever it is and wherever we travel, we’re always looking for Home; and life is the biggest trip of all. But when that sweet chariot carries me to the real Home, I’ll be pain-free and happy forever. God knows, life has been tough, but Home after life will be sweet.
Spencer Tracy, in the 1943 production of “A Guy Named Joe” finds that Home -Afterlife – consists of a squadron of dead air heroes, commanded by Lionel Barrymore (God?) the most famous super air hero of them all. One of his Heavenly duties is to mentor a young, fighter pilot (Van Johnson’s first movie) who is alive, and – coincidence of all coincidences – is madly in love with Irene Dunne, his earthly girlfriend. This is not quite reincarnation, but looking at Spencer Tracy and Irene Dunne, you might think more about it.
Earlier, in 1940. Thornton Wilder’s “Our Town” hit the Morasco on Broadway. Set in 1901, the Afterlife looked pretty dismal – a bunch of nostalgic people sitting around on their headstones, discussing what life used to be. In one thoughtful scene, Emily, the young heroine, has a desperate desire to relive at least one day of her former life – which she does. Now think about it. If Heaven ever gives you a chance to relive one day of your life, which day would it be? Food for thought.
Recently, in the New York Times, Ben Schott, author of “Schott’s Miscellany 2009,” reported the results of a 2008 Harris poll: Nearly 7 out of every 10 Americans believe in an Afterlife. Six out of 10 Americans believe in the Devil; and a slightly higher number (62%) believe in Hell. What might or might not startle you, is that better than 7 out of 10 (73%) believe in a Heaven of some kind. In addition, 24% of Americans believe in reincarnation. Does a belief in reincarnation exclude a belief in Heaven? Only Heaven knows.
There’s always a place to go at the end of the trail. Some call it Home, others think of the Hereafter. It could be Paradise, the Happy Hunting Grounds, or better . . . wherever all those virgins reside. Whether its Heaven or the Afterlife, way up there, there must be something! How do we know? Because He’s looking down on us, or because “they” are watching. No matter where humans roam, wander or travel, no matter where they settle into cities, towns, municipalities, states, commonwealths, counties, parishes, kingdoms or countries, they usually agree that you go somewhere after you die. After all, it’s in a book that He gave to us.
And anyway, it has to be. How can the bad and evil guys get away with what they do, when the good guys, the guys who follow the Book, suffer? Easy. The bad suffer in the Afterlife – the good endure paradise and bliss, eternally: The Happy Hunting Grounds, Sittin’ on that Golden Throne, dwell in the land o’ milk and honey,
So whether you knock on the pearly gates, climb Jacob’s ladder or drift sweetly into Never-Never Land, there’s a place for you, and as you grow longer in the tooth it gets sweeter and sweeter.
There might be as many views and opinions on what happens, after life, as stars in the sky.. Perhaps, as Laura Bush declared, the “Afterlife” is the life that she and George now share after the presidency. Would that be so for all of us, but not quite.
Whether you call if the Hereafter, Life-After-Death or the Afterlife, all it is, is where you go after you live. You know that your physical body stays here on earth – but whoa! If you have a spirit or a soul, that’s the part could go up there – where things are good, where there is no pain or problem, where there is love and kindness. If you want to live a physical life all over again, you could be reincarnated – live a new life – live another life – live a better life – live a fuller life.
It’s nice to think that there’s more to life than, well, life. If that’s what you feel, then you’re classified into either a metaphysical, esoteric or religious category. You will go to a “plane of existence” and this, dude, is determined by how you live now., in the present. Okay, some of your friends, neighbors or enemies don’t believe any of this. “Screw the Afterlife and all that it stands for! There is none. Live life and enjoy yourself now!” they say, “because nothing comes afterward. Zero. Zilch. Nadda.” Philosophers call these guys materialist-reductionists. They will tell you that it is impossible to know what exists after you live.
And there are those who claim to have visited the dead, talked with the dead, come back from the dead – and if you believe the Ancient Romans and Greeks – to have actually had sexual relations with the dead! Hold on now, instead of brushing them off as just one sandwich short of a picnic, they may tell the truth. How do you know? How do you ACTUALLY know?
Take a trip now, in THIS life. Visit Afterlife.org. Here’s a non-profit organization dedicated to preserving your website after you’re gone (probably to your own, personal Afterlife.). One thing you can be sure of, you web site will have an Afterlife after you die. Is there a web site Heaven? Only the Shadow knows.
But if you really want to know what the “Afterlife” is all about, talk to Bruce Moen. According to his website, the exploration of the Afterlife has “profoundly” changed his present life. It’s taught him, “ what love is and shown him the purpose of his life.” In his website, he answers many questions, such as:
How can I communicate with someone who is now in the Afterlife?
Does everyone see the same or different stuff in the Afterlife?
Do I have to believe that I have a could experience the Afterlife?
Will I remember after I die, what I did, and who I was in the physical world?
Will I like living in the Afterlife?
No matter how you cut it, given all the special people acquainted with the Afterlife, no one knows for sure. They may have read it in a book, spoken to a god, or dreamt it. Some guys say they’ve been there and came back to talk about it. Really. No one knows for sure. Let’s look at a few word pictures of what happens after a life goes bust. This might be as boring as Hell, but Heaven knows, it’s worth it:
HITCH A RIDE TO ETERNITY
Travel the New York City Transit System. You can go six ways: Take a bus, take a subway, hail a taxi, drive your own car, or have a limousine at your command. You can also walk. It all depends on the weather, how much money you have, and how anxious you are to get to your destination. Your arrival point could be any of a thousand places, but wherever you go and however you get there, there are rules. There are do’s and don’ts. If you don’t follow the rules, you won’t get from A to B, much less A to Z. Worse, if you don’t follow the rules, you may end up in a very bad place. Jail, or worse.
LOOK AT THE MAP, ASK THE CONDUCTOR
Getting to the Afterlife is much the same. Depending on whom you are, you have a lot of choices – or maybe the “choices” are made for you. But you have to follow the rules. Do this, don’t do that, never say this, always say that. You know the drill. With all this, humanity is divided into two sections: People who observe various phenomena and deduce what the Afterlife is all about, for themselves. They have an empirical view. These guys follow the rules and say what they ought to say, maintain a faith-based religious view, basically believing the words written in a book (God’s word), or believing the words delivered by a teacher known to deliver the “truth” from his or her own understanding. They’ll get from A to Z without any trouble.
FAITH-BASED TRANSIT
The other type of Afterlife belief is based on faith: Ancestral stories, written words passed through the ages such as Qur’an, Talmud, Vedas, Tripitaka, the Tibetan Book of the Dead, and more. These outline a sort of spiritual “transit system.” The maps are the books and the books are posted everywhere and everyone should either read them or listen to someone who has read them. If you get lost, there are plenty of cops along the way to point you in the right direction.
FOLLOW THE CROWD
There is a third group: Those who neither believe nor disbelieve in the Afterlife. However they honor the tradition of their ancestors. The family, or close-knit community, project a tradition that requires no reason or logic. If you grew up in the neighborhood, you don’t have to be told which way to go or how to get there. The belief is ingrained in your own civilization. It only “makes sense” that there is an Afterlife. No need for proof.
NO WHERE TO GO – NOTHIN’ TO DO
Then there are the fellows who don’t believe it’s necessary to go anyplace. There is no destination. No need for subway, bus or train. No place to go, no place to rest, no trip to take: Atheists and Agnostics. While theists, talk about some sort of Afterlife, atheists do not believe in it. This is all perfectly sensible in Western religions. However, Buddhists are NOT theistic but DO believe in an Afterlife – reincarnation. Their destination is a new, and hopefully better, life. There is no belief that the God of Christianity or Judaism exists. A Buddhist will take the train or bus and arrive into another life because it is his destiny.
To sum it up, agnostics feel that God and the Afterlife have not been proven. As a result, they maintain that the existence of the Afterlife as well as soul is unknown. However all theists seem to believe that the quality of life on earth determines, in some way, the type of Afterlife available to the individual. Reap what you sow.
REINCARNATION
Two old guys were sitting on a park bench, talking about the Afterlife. So they made a deal. Each promised the other that whoever dies first, will contact the other from the hereafter, so at least one will have some knowledge about what to expect in Heaven.
As bad luck would have it, Ben died a few months later, leaving his lifelong friend, Earl, all alone. A week went by, and Earl was heartbroken. His lifelong friend was gone forever. Or was he?
As Earl sat in his lonely little studio apartment, quietly sipping his glass of tea, he felt a hand on his shoulder. Jumping up, he nearly knocked over Ben (who, afterall, was only a spirit). After the initial surprise, Ben explained to Earl that he was only fulfilling the pact they had made months ago. He was there to tell Earl about the Afterlife.
“Well?” said Earl. “So tell me. What’s it like?
“I just don’t know where to begin.” Ben said with a sigh.
“Ben. This is important. Why not describe a typical day?”
”OK, a typical day. Lemmsee now. It’s morning and I wake up from a good sleep. Eat a fine breakfast, go in for a swim and then I party with the most beautiful femalel I ever saw. You would agree, Earl, she was a knockout!” Then I go back into the sun, rest and before you know it, it’s lunchtime. They serve wonderful lunches. All ya want – free! Then I take another dip in warm water, go back into the sun an make out with this gorgeous piece of meat, After resting and snacking, dinnertime comes. So I party with another choice tenderloin, bee-you-tee-ful, know what I mean? We both take a dip, play around in the water, and come out to the most scrmptious dinner you could imagine. After that, it’s partytime until I just can’t stay awake anymore.”
Earl is flabergasted. “Ommigod. Ben,” that is fantastic! I can’t wait until I get to Heaven.”
“Heaven? Heaven?” Snorts Ben. “ I’m a bull in Michigan!?”
LONG LIVE ME
Life after life? Okay, no one wants to be a “bull in Michigan,” but each of us – at least once in our lives, whether we believe in it or not – imagines another life – a Hereafter, an Afterlife, a Heaven, Happy Hunting Ground, Paradise or whatever. Some believe that in the Afterlife, you go a step higher, until finally, your spirit or soul is liberated. Dying is only a passageway to another life, and depending on how you lived your earthly life, the quality of your successive rebirths will increase or decrease. Hindus, Rosicrucians and various Spiritists are in this group. If you follow the belief of some Eastern, African or native American communities, you can transmigrate into an animal, vegetable or mineral. This is called metempsychosis (in case anyone asks).
Then, there are neopagens,. Each believes in a different form of Afterlife. While neopagens believe that a certain energy from each soul is projected into new, living beings, Wiccans belive that there is “Summerland,” a haven where peace and sun are eternal, and new souls reside. There are, literally and figuratively, hundreds – if not thousands – or millions – of different interpretations of what Afterlife this is as should be. Taken together, we can assume that as a part of humanity, the Afterlife belief is universal.
IN THE BEGINNING
When did it start? Perhaps we’ll never know. It’s probable that the earliest hominid believed that somehow, somewhere, there was life after life. In other words, you were transported from your Home station to another Home station – not to a destination. Life started all over again. The bus driver dropped you off into a completely new existance.
AFTERLIFE IN ANCIENT EGYPT
The earliest documentation pf belief in the Afterlife was is found in archeological findings. We found that Pharaoh was god and when he died, he was transported to an afterlife with all of his earthly possessions (sometimes including servants, maids, etc,) But in all Egypt, A person’s soul was divided into two parts: “ka” and “ba.” Each part went to a different Afterlife. When a person died, his or her ka and ba dwelt in the kingdom of the dead. The soul, itself, resided in the fields of Aaru, where Osiris required work. In return, he protected it. There were many other requirements to be allowed into the Afterlife, as documented in The Book of the Dead.
ZOROASTRIANISM
The Afterlife, according to this prophet, who lived about 1000 BC, consisted of a perfect, material world. Into this, the dead would be immersed into terror. then purified and attain paradise. . Zoroaster appears in the Baha’i faith as a manifestation of God, After death, souls leave the world and are judged according to their past earthly goodness. Men, as well as women, severvants as well as masters may attain paradise.
ANCIENT GREEK AND ROMAN AFTERLIFE
According to Homer, only the actual mortal descendants of Zeus could reach Elysium
In the Odessey, Homer refers to the dead as “burnt-out wraiths.” An Afterlife of eternal bliss exists in Elysium but is reserved for Zeus’ mortal descendants. Elysian Fields were exclusively for these god-like relatives. Other were not so lucky. Their spirits traveled to fhe fields of asphodel, Home of “burnt-out wraiths.” Plato, in his “Myth of Er,” tells of the judgment of souls after death, after which they traveled to Heaven for rewards, or to the underground, where they must endure punishment. After judgment and punishment or reward, all souls enter a new life. (Reincarnation)
Talk about kings, in Greek mythology. “Hades” was not the place we envison today. He was actually king of the underworld. While souls would likely go to “rest,” The evil ones rested in torture and pain. Hades existed somewhere in between. Some gods were allowed to “visit” this underworld. You might know of King Hades through his Roman counterpart, Pluto. You might know that the Greek God Herecles was given several assignments. One of these was to travel to the underworld and capture the guard dog, Cerebus.
All in all, it is easy to understand that the Western world’s concept of Heaven and Hell was probably rooted in this polytheistic holy belief.
ISLAM
Islam teaches that each person was created to be kind to others. It also teaches to worship the Creator. Life on earth is a test for the determination of the ultimate reward or punishment in the Afterlife.. Jannah is paradise and Jahannam is Hell. As written in the Qur’an, they both describe destinations of various levels. Level 8 is reserved for Jannah, and 5 is for Hell. However, the individual does not arive until judged. Depending upon a person’s belief in God, earthly deeds and belief in the hereafter, he or she will be resurrected, but only to a level of comfort in the grave, consistent with that belief.
72 VIRGINS
It had to come up. No discussion of the hereafter can be complete without the ultimate fantasy. To begin with, let’s understand that the problem in searching out the 72-virgins that supposedly await Islamic martyrs in the Afterlife, is that there is so much disagreement, in the first place, about what the Qur’an has to say about anything. Therefore, we can assume in our bumbeling, broad-strokeed perusal of the many English translations of the Qur’an, that “virgins” don’t have to be female, alluring, young or even pretty. Nothing in the Qur’an states that the martyered, faithful or otherwise good and scholarly earthly individuals can or should be allotted 72 virgins a piece – or even collectively. Muhammed Hadith, an historical holy man, stateed that,
“The least [reward] for the people of Heaven is 80.000 servants and 72 wives, over which stands a dome of pearls, aquamarine and ruby.”
And although we are not scholars, we might ask another obviuos question about the virgins – how did they arrive in the Afterlife, themselves. It is also nice that each female is promised “72 wives.”
LIVING AGAIN IN THE EAST
For a Hindu, Samsara is described by the Bhagavad Gita: It constructs a life on earth, as preliminary to the Afterlife. According to this belief, your soul discards your body in much the same way as you discard old cloths on earth. The body is only a sHell. The soul is inside and indestructible. In a cycle of birth and death, the soul takes on a new life. This new body is ultimately discarded, but the soul continues the cycle. This cycle of reincarnation culminates until it ends at Moksha or salvation.
Hindus also believe that your earthly good and bad deeds comprise your Karma. This somewhat parallels Western religious reasoning: The better you are during your earthly life, the better your Afterlife will be.
BUDDHISM
You can be reborn again, according to Buddhism. The new life simply continues the previous life, based on your Karma. If you die peacefully, your Karma will be most fortunate, and ripen. Thus, you will be reborn as a human or a god. If, however, you die in a negative state of mind, your karma will ripen to a lower rebirth – an animal or demon.
Tibetan Buddhism, according to the Tibetan Book of the Dead, recognizes that there is a place between reincarnation and death of the body. In this state, you are to locate the bright light of wisdom. This is a straight path that will lead you up and away from the cycle of reincarnation. There are many problems associated with following this path. These are related to the negativity of your earthly life, but you may find solace and assistance from various Buddahs
SIKHISM
Sikhs believe that your soul, which lives on after your body is gone, can ultimately unite with God. However, it needs to live many lives before this. The weight of the good that you do during your earthly life accumulates blessings.God has created a spiritual universe, and it is to this finality that the soul aspires. Four classes of belief allow you to remain with God if you wish, or, you may choose to serve your people. There are classes below these such as animals, plants and varius microscopic bits of life. During this reincarnation, you rise or fall in the classes according to your deeds. Good earthly deeds move you higher, and bad or evil deeds will sink you to a lower class.
OTHER VOYAGES, DESTINATIONS AND PARADISES
Mesopotamians believed that the dead lived in an underworld, the entrance to which could have been any deep pit, cave, pond or hole. People on Melanesian islands imagine that the Afterlife is comprised of a world exactly like the living world. New Guineans belive that the next world lies beneath the ocean. Navaho myths describe the dead as sinking into a watery world. The goddess Ala, according to the Ibo of Nigeria, rules the underworld and receives the dead into her womb. Pueblo indians belive that the dead ascend into rainclouds. Obviously, we could go on. And on. And on. etc and etc and etc.
THE COMMON THREAD
Looking for a common thread? If there is, it is that each individual on earth will reach a fulfilling Afterlife if he or she is good. The bad guys get treated badly, horribly and tortureously. The other part of the thread, is that although many claim to have firsthand knowledge of the Afterlife, none have actually, scientifically, empirically, returned to tell us what it is all about. Food for thought.
The transit systems that take a souls to another life or a different resting place are as different as the subways, busses and trollies in Paris, Moscow, Boston and New York are from each other. More so.
AS NAIL IN DOOR
In Joseph Heller’s God Knows. David had a asked the prophet, Samuel, for advice on how to contact Moses for some badly needed advice. Since Samel had previously given David the word of God, David assumed that Sanuel could put him in contact with Moses.. David needed to ask Moses for advice. He began by asking Samuel about Moses’ whereabouts:
SAMUEL
Sitting on a rock.
DAVID
Is he in Heaven? Is he in Hell?
SAMUEL
There is no Heaven. There is no Hell.
DAVID
There is no Heaven? There is no Hell?
SAMUEL
That’s all in your mind,
DAVID
He’s really dead?
SAMUEL
As nail in door.
DAVID
Then where is the Rock? Where did you come from just now? Where do you stay when you’re not up here?
SAMUEL
Don’t ask foolish questions!
