Published by Recently I have started questioning some of my preconceived notions about the universe. Up until recently I held the opinion that the earth was billions of years old and the universe billions older but I no longer subscribe to that theory.
It has been through numerous conversations with people that hold opposing viewpoints that has led me to my change in outlook. Many people have pointed out that I have no reason to believe in the billion year old dating of the universe or many other scientific theory’s such as evolution or abiogenesis for the simple reason that I was not there to observe them. Of course now I agree with this idea I have decided to take it to it’s logical conclusion.
The idea that the universe is billions of years old is beyond ridiculous in fact the idea that it is six thousand years old is also ridiculous and I will explain why in a minute but first I have to introduce you to an argument that really opened my eyes.
Back when I was an unbeliever one of my arguments was that starlight could be used to date the age of the universe because if a star is billions of light-years away I thought it would take billions of years for the light to reach us but I was wrong because if the world was created by a creator then it makes sense that when he created the stars he would create light that had already reached us so humans could enjoy it just as trees were created fully grown for human enjoyment.
I could spend the entire article rehashing all the arguments that led me to the conclusion that I have reached but I’m going to resist the urge to show my work and just tell you my revelation. I have reached an irrefutable dating of the universe and everything that is and ever has been.
It is 17 years old. I can tell you this definitively because I am 17 years old.
Now a few of you might not believe my dating on faith so I will explain my reasoning to you. As we found out earlier you cannot be sure of anything that you do not experience yourself so to say that the universe is any older than I am is complete speculation. I’m sure a few of you will say that the universe cannot be 17 years old because you yourself are older than that but when you think about it you have been created by me 17 years ago but you think that you are older than that. If I can make starlight billions of light years away appear whenever I want it is not a stretch to say that I can implant false memories.
People I’m sure will dismiss my finding for different reasons science probably chief among them, but I am aiming this article primarily at the people I have been arguing with because I feel that I have taken their ideas to their logical conclusions.
I have disproved evolution which should please some people, because obviously 17 years is not enough time for evolution to take place. If my revelation is correct then intelligent design is clearly the only option. I am not going to go into the details of how I created anything because I do not remember doing it but I maintain it is the only reasonable conclusion.
Something that might be asked of me is if I invented the cosmos who invented me. My natural response to that is that I have existed forever and seeing as this statement is impossible to disprove we will just forget about it and move on.
For those of you who might be wondering if as creator of everything that has ever existed if I provide anything to my creations. First of all that seems like an ungrateful question because I have already gone to all the trouble of creating all of you but yes I do provide some benefits.
Being the creator of everything comes with the perk of being able to dictate objective morality and an absolute sense of good and evil. I have decided that all my creations were made solely for the purpose of my entertainment and amusement. Conversely anything that bores me or is in anyway unpleasant to me is a sin making it objectively a bad thing. I would recommend everyone reading this to act accordingly.
I am fairly confident not only in my line of reasoning but also in my ability to convert some people to my new found way of thinking but at the end of the day one has to remember it is only a theory a good theory to be certain but only a theory.
As always criticism is welcome.
Love it. I’m converted.
Haha- as I began this article I was afraid you were serious but I do completely agree with you, 17 is exactly right. 18 next January.
hmmm… im in a total agreement with you….
If you only believe what you experienced in your 17 years of life, why do you believe you created everyone and everything.. or can you remember that?
Nice work!
Good view…
“Many people have pointed out that I have no reason to believe in the billion year old dating of the universe or many other scientific theory’s such as evolution or abiogenesis for the simple reason that I was not there to observe them. Of course now I agree with this idea I have decided to take it to it’s logical conclusion.”
I was so going to put that the earth is only as old as you at this point, for the reasons you stated after this…seems like we may be on the same wavelength.
I do kind of dread the idea that you might be our creator though…nothing against you personally but you seem a little neurotic to me, kind of like Van Gogh, a little too obsessed to be normal.
Take that as a compliment, the world greatest philosophers, inventors and genius’ were all a little postal. It shows dedication…and mental illness
I hope you don’t find my sense of humour offensive