Published by Several years ago, when I was a young pastor, I rushed to Erlanger Hospital in Chattanooga, Tennessee to visit a a person who had called Contact Telephone Ministry to share that she was in the process of making a suicide attempt. I was following up after the caller had been rescued and taken to the hospital. When I entered I was very anxious. But I found myself immediately calmed as I hurriedly walked into the hospital and saw in the hall a friend, the pastor of First Christian Church. He was listening to a troubled family member of someone who was in surgery. Since he was focused on the person with whom he was giving support, I did not interrupt him, but I still felt the same support he was sharing withanother person. The support was coming from his presence.
When Dr. Debbie Hall wrote an article in 2005 named, “I believe in the power of presence” she had been a psychologist in San Diego’s Naval Medical Center Pediatrics Department for several years. She was reminded of this belief when she and several other Red Cross volunteers met a group of evacuees from Hurricane Katrina. They were there, as mental health professionals, to offer “psychological first aid.” Despite all the training in how to “debrief,” to educate about stress reactions and to screen for those needing therapy, Debbie Hall was struck by the simple healing power of presence. Before they had done anything, as they walked in the gate to the shelter, they were greeted with an ardent burst of gratitude from the first person they encountered. Since Debbie and her team had not done anything yet, they felt guilty for receiving the affirmation. It was at that moment that Debby was reminded of the healing power of presence.
Debby describes the healing power of presence in the following statement. “Presence is a noun, not a verb; it is a state of being, not doing. States of being are not highly valued in a culture which places a high priority on doing. Yet, true presence or ‘being with’ another person carries with it a silent power — to bear witness to a passage, to help carry an emotional burden or to begin a healing process. In it, there is an intimate connection with another that is perhaps too seldom felt in a society that strives for ever-faster ‘connectivity.’”
In her article Dr. Hall shares how she was first hurled into an ambivalent presence many years ago, when a friend’s mother died unexpectedly. She had received a phone call from the hospital where the mother had just passed away. Part of her wanted to rush down there, but another part of her didn’t want to intrude on this acute and very personal phase of grief. She was torn about what to do. Another friend with her at the time said, “Just go. Just be there.” She did, and she says, “I will never regret it.”
Since that formative moment, Debby says she has not hesitated to be in the presence of others for whom she could “do” nothing. She has written about once sitting at the bedside, with other friends, of a young man in a morphine coma to blunt the pain of his AIDS-related dying. She spoke to him about his inevitable journey out of this life. He later told his parents — in a brief moment of lucidity — that he had felt Dr. Hall being with him. Dr. Hall concludes her article by writing, “With therapy clients, I am still pulled by the need to do more than be, yet repeatedly struck by the healing power of connection created by being fully there in the quiet understanding of another. In it, none of us are truly alone. The power of presence is not a one-way street, not only something we give to others. It always changes me, and always for thebetter.”(http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=5064534)
Billy Wilson, a friend of mine, recently lost a close friend through death. Several days after the burial he saw his late friend’s wife. When Billy greeted her, he said, “Mary, I am sorrow you lost your best friend.” She responded immediately, “Billy, my wonderful husband died, and I miss him very much, but I did not lose my best friend. My best friend is Jesus, and His presence is faithfully with me all the time.”
